To Hell and Back
by dead drifter
Summary: ShounenAi KakuHidan. Kakuzu’s dead, but he can’t rest until his Soul Mate, Hidan, dies as well. The dead nin returns to Earth armed with the only thing that CAN kill Jashinists: Stygian water…Full summary inside.
1. Death

**To Hell and Back**

**Author's Notes**

**-xXx-**

**Summary**: Kakuzu is dead, but he can't rest until Hidan dies too. With the aid of a demon, Kakuzu returns to Earth, armed with the only thing known to kill Jashinists: Stygian water. But once there, a much bigger problem arises; Kakuzu and Hidan become unlikely heroes, racing time and fighting bijuu in order to prevent the demon from claiming Earth as his own.

Previewed by PurpleWolfStar35, xcupidxstuntx, Papermache and Piercings (thanks for the support!)

Beta'd by Kiroichi Tsubake (thanks so much, Donna! 3)

**Disclaimer**: Naruto is (c) Masashi Kishimoto

**Update Schedule:** Every Sunday

**Setting**: Eight years in the future

**Genres**: Supernatural, Fantasy, Action, Adventure, Tragedy, Romance

**Pairings**: KakuHida, PeinKonan, ?Konan, GaaSaku, ShikaTema, NejiTen, onesided NaruSaku

**Other notes:** Madara is Tobi in this fic. Kakashi, Sasuke and Chouji are deceased, having died during the last epic fight with the Akatsuki. Madara killed Sasuke and Kakashi, Zetsu killed Chouji. Hence, Shikamaru has a son named Chouji to honor his dead friend.

Constructive Criticism would be appreciated! I worked hard, but I'm afraid I might be too confusing, so let me know if you think I could have handled something better, or if you don't understand something!

**Prologue: Death**

**-xXx-**

"To think…I'd be defeated…by kids…like you," Kakuzu groaned. He lay on the ground, broken, useless. The Konoha shinobi standing before him said something, Kakuzu saw the lips move under the mask covering his face, but he could no longer hear over the pounding of his last heart. It drummed incessantly in his ears, as if reminding him it was still there, as if pleading for more time.

As if Kakuzu had such power.

Kakuzu was slipping, losing his hold on consciousness, and when he saw a white, crackling light, he knew that this was it. Death. There was no fear, however. Only a vague acceptance. Death was coming. No, it was here. It was upon him. There was no time to pray, and if he had, had the time, he wouldn't have known who to pray to. God? Jashin? That was a laugh. Kakuzu watched the hand bearing the lightning blade rush down on him in slow motion, as if time had momentarily slipped, savoring the moment.

Kakuzu closed his eyes as that sparking hand plunged into his chest. Fingers sliced through flesh and wrapped around his beating heart. There may have been pain, but Kakuzu was above and beyond pain now. As his body struggled to breathe, to live, an image burned on the inside of Kakuzu's eyelids. Silver hair, pale skin, pink eyes, a cocky grin.

_Hidan_, Kakuzu thought, and the white light burned out, and Kakuzu plummeted into darkness.

**-xXx-**

**Chapter 1: Hell**

"NEXT!" a high pitched, cracking voice echoed.

Kakuzu blinked his eyes furiously. Everything looked blurry, out of focus. He wiped at his eyes, and the world around him gradually cleared, as if a fog were lifting. Smoke and burning flesh stung at his nostrils. He could hear the crackling roar of a large fire nearby, yet he shivered with cold.

When he could properly see, Kakuzu sat up and took in his surroundings. Bonfires raged about him, there were piles of bones with rotting flesh clinging to them. The old missing Falls nin knocked over a skull resting at his feet as he shifted, its empty sockets looking up at him. He swore there were pinpricks of red light deep inside the skull…hellish eyes. Kakuzu kicked it away.

There was a screeching cry above him, and Kakuzu looked up. A giant crow flew past, cawing in a gray, dead sky. Kakuzu couldn't help but laugh.

This was Hell, it had to be.

The ground below the stitched man looked like hardened lava, black with glowing orange peeking through cracks in the surface. Kakuzu kicked up ash as he got up and properly stood on his feet. It was a wasteland of fire, ash and smoke. There were blackened trees, their leaves long ago burned away. The dead shinobi found a makeshift path marked with posts bearing heads in various states of decay, and began to follow it.

The path wound around the bonfires and climbed up a steep hill crowned with a lone dead tree. Kakuzu had to get to all fours and clutch at stones set in the dirt path in order to get up to the top, as the hillside was nearly vertical, and by the time he did, he was gasping for air, a jabbing pain in his side. Sweat trickled down his face.

Kakuzu got to the tree and collapsed at its feet, resting his back against the rough bark. He looked down, and gasped again. Below the hill was a vast, parched plain. Massive black gates stood in the midst of that featureless landscape. A line of jostling people headed towards it. Kakuzu squinted his eyes. The line disappeared off in the distance. He guessed that there were at least a thousand people, from what he could see.

The missing Falls nin got to his feet once more, and headed down the hill, towards the impossibly long line. It wasn't as steep on this side, and Kakuzu was able to keep on just his two feet.

The towering black gates stood just a little ways from the hill. Two tall, black clad figures flanked the gates, while some sort of hunched, winged man standing in front of the gate called NEXT every few minutes. Most of the people seemed to be gravely wounded or sick. Upon closer inspection, Kakuzu saw that the people in the line must all be dead. Many of them sported ghastly injuries. Kakuzu saw someone he recognized: his last partner, before Hidan. He was wrapped up, his left arm completely missing. Kakuzu chuckled to himself.

"What are ya laughin' at, new dead?"

Kakuzu turned to see an emaciated old man hobble towards him, leaning heavily on his cane. Half of his face was melting, as if he'd been doused with acid. Gobs of flesh plopped to his gnarled old feet. His right eye was so much white goop running down his face. Normal people might have lost their dinner at such a sight, but Kakuzu had seen such horrors in his long life that it didn't even faze him. Kakuzu looked back to the large gates and chuckled softly again.

"This. Hell. It's…cliché."

The old, gruesome man wiped at the white gelatinous fluid melting down his face and snorted.

"Maybe you think hellfire and brimstone is cliché, but this ain't all there is to it, ya know. You're only lookin' at the outside. Get through those gates and you'll shit yourself."

Kakuzu searched beyond the gates. It was open wasteland as far as the eye could see, with the occasional bonfire spewing clouds of smoke into the sky, fueling the dark, raging clouds.

"I know what you're thinkin.' But that's a front. A genjutsu. Once you pass through the Gates, you'll see what Hell really is."

"Little surprises me now a days, as long as I've lived," Kakuzu said, smirking.

"A hundred years, 'proximately, I'm thinkin," the old man surmised, his one eye looking Kakuzu up and down, sizing him up.

"Hn," Kakuzu uttered, walking away from the old man, heading for the long line.

"Ah ah ah, not so fast! That's a loooong line, ya know. I could sell you a special ticket, bumps you up in the line."

"How much?" Kakuzu asked, quirking an eyebrow. If money worked in Hell, like he had heard, then death might not be so bad.

"Well, that depends. How much you got?"

The old man rummaged in his pockets and pulled out a tattered slip of paper, something shiny, perhaps gold leaf, at the edges. Kakuzu narrowed his eyes at the ticket, feeling suddenly foolish. He was only wearing his clothes now, his cloak was gone, his briefcase full of money hadn't traveled to Hell with him. Other than his soul, he didn't have anything to offer. And he might need that, Kakuzu wasn't sure.

All of his vast knowledge gathered over the century he'd been alive amounted to nothing in death.

"I…I don't have much," Kakuzu finally admitted, his hands curling into fists at his sides.

"I smell a very strong soul," the old man said, sniffing the air. Kakuzu frowned.

"Yessss," the old man hissed, limping up to Kakuzu and poking him in the chest.

"There. You still stink of flesh…but it's more than that. You're still connected…"

Kakuzu took a step backwards, moving away from the old man. His breath stank of death and something worse that he couldn't place. It was awful, whatever it was.

"What are you going on about?" Kakuzu asked when he was at a safe enough distance.

The old man's face, or what was left of it, brightened.

"Selling you a ticket would profit me, but it'd do nothing for you…no, no it wouldn't work out all that well for me either. Much better to offer you something else."

"Just tell me what you're talking about!" Kakuzu said, his voice rising in anger. The old rotting man wasn't bothered in the slightest.

"They won't let you through those gates, not while your soul is in such a state!"

"And why the hell not?" Kakuzu asked.

The old man burst into a fit of laughter that ended in a hacking cough. He spat blood and a gob of…something…onto the ground. A puff of steam emitted from the blackened earth as the lump hit it.

"Ya smell like Earth. Not like rotten flesh like a typical New dead should…you smell…to put it short…too nice. Aye, you're an Earth Bound, to be sure."

"Earth Bound?"

"Yes."

Kakuzu stared intently at the old man, his interest peaked. The old man patted his chest, above where his heart should be.

"It's still beatin' somewhere. Hell won't let in Earth Bounds. That heart better stop beatin, and soon."

"What…are you talking about?"

Kakuzu was getting angrier at the old man's vague answers.

"Argh. Newly dead never know nuthin. Earth Bound, connected to the World by an Anchor!" the old man growled, flailing his scrawny arms.

"People in heaven call it 'Soul Mates.' Too nice a term for sinners, if ya ask me."

Soul Mates…Kakuzu knew of that term.

"Wait…you're saying," Kakuzu started, pinching the bridge of his nose, "that I have a Soul Mate?"

"Anchor is more proper for someone like you, sinner. But yeah, basically."

"Hidan," Kakuzu growled.

"Hidan? Is that your girlfriend?"

"Hardly. Can people bind souls…manually?"

"Manually?" the old man repeated, scratching at his bumpy nose.

"Through curses…religious ritual?" Kakuzu suggested, a bloody seal etched in the ground coming to mind.

The old man burst into a fit of giggles. He hacked out something that looked horribly like a semi-digested rat into his palm, tossed it over his shoulder and continued talking as if coughing up dead rats was commonplace. In Hell, it probably was.

"Aye, it's rare, but it's happened before. Say…" the old man said, narrowing his good eye, "this Hidan. He wouldn't happen to be a Jashin's Witness, would he?"

Kakuzu's eyes widened. He hadn't expected the name Jashin to be known in Hell. Was Hidan's religion for real then?

"Yeah, he is."

"Oh ho ho, that's gooood," the old man murmured, licking his lips.

"Why is that?" Kakuzu asked, suspicious.

The old man grinned, displaying all four of his teeth. His tongue, black and diseased, stuck out between two of them.

"Well…if he's a Jashinist, and strong enough to be an Anchor without resorting to using love, then…well, first, I'll have to ask you. Do you care what happens to him?"

"Not really, no," Kakuzu admitted with a shrug.

"Jackpot!" the old man yelled happily, cackling and slapping his leg.

"All you have to do, to sever the connection, is to kill 'im."

This time it was Kakuzu's turn to laugh.

"I've tried, countless times. He's immortal. You can chop off his head, remove his organs and put his brain on a stick, he still lives."

"Oh, well I think I can help you change that, Stitches. But we'll need some water."

"Water? What kind of water?" Kakuzu asked.

"The only kind worth calling water! That which comes from the river Styx, o' course!"

"The river Styx…"

"Yep. Now if you'll come with me, I'll show you where the river is. But you'll have to fetch the water. I can't go near, being a demon and all."

"You're a demon?"

"Yep. Call me Beza, all the newly deads do! Now come here," the old man, Beza, said, holding out a hand.

Kakuzu glared at the hand.

"Why should I trust you? And why are you helping me? You didn't say."

"Sharp mind ya got. Basically...I want the Jashinist's soul. You kill him, bring him back to me, I eat the soul, you get to go on your merry way, join the army or whatever the hell it is you ninjas do now a days. It works out, see?"

"What do you want with his soul?"

"Power," Beza answered simply, nodding and licking his lips.

Kakuzu considered for a moment, and then finally nodded in return.

"Hn. Well, I suppose I'll accept the deal. Lead the way, old man."

"Beza."

"Right."

Kakuzu walked past the old man. Beza chuckled and shook his head and jogged after him.

"Now, it's not far. But you'll have to stick close to me, a lot of hungry things out there."

Kakuzu let Beza lead, keeping a look out for any of these 'hungry things.'

"Do they fly? These…'hungry things'?" Kakuzu asked, remembering the giant crow.

"Gaki, they call 'em. Some fly, some swim, some crawl, but most don't bother with any of that. They just…appear," Beza said.

"Great," Kakuzu said with a heavy sigh.

Beza and Kakuzu walked past the crowded Gates and the ground changed no longer hardened lava but something black and shiny, like onyx. It felt springy, however, like walking on tightly stretched canvas. Kakuzu wondered if he would bounce if he lept into the air.

The old man began to hum, picking a tune that sounded eerie and yet familiar to Kakuzu. He let Beza's voice wash over him as his eyes wandered. A faint glow could be seen on the horizon and Kakuzu wondered if Hell had its own sun.

"Don't walk so loud, you'll stir the critters," Beza barked. Kakuzu tried to step lighter, though the trampoline-like floor made it difficult. Beza returned to his humming.

"Soooooo empty," a faint voice whispered. Kakuzu looked to Beza, who was still hobbling along, humming to himself, as if he didn't hear it.

"Empty…"

"Did you hear that?" Kakuzu asked Beza, but the old man broke into song, waving his arms in time to the strange tune. Ignoring him. Kakuzu was about to repeat himself, but he heard the voice again, this time, it was louder. Closer.

"Look at me."

Eyes appeared, large, white and bulbous, floating free of a face. He tried to pry his eyes away, but he couldn't move. His throat tightened, he couldn't breath. Invisible fingers were wrapped around his neck, applying a steady, crushing pressure. Kakuzu gasped for air, and inhaled the monster's breath as it blew in his face. He could taste rotten meat on his tongue, and choked.

The white eyes snapped shut, there was a loud screech and Kakuzu crumpled. He saw Beza's thin legs dancing around wildly.

"Damned Tengu! Get your own Earth Bound!" Beza cried, swinging his walking stick at a manta ray-like creature fleeing in the air, its screeches carried away by the wind.

"You okay there, Stitches?" Beza said, pulling Kakuzu roughly to his feet. Kakuzu felt a surge of chakra from the brief contact. Kakuzu quickly jerked his hand away and brushed himself off.

"What the hell was that?"

"A Tengu. Winged Gaki. I told you, most Gaki just appear. You didn't listen!"

Kakuzu glared.

"How am I supposed to look out for things that pop in and hypnotize me?"

"You're a ninja, aren't you? See the unseen, look beneath the underneath all that jazz. Ah, you see that up ahead?" Beza asked, pointing towards a faint orange glow a few hundred feet away.

"Yeah."

"That's her. Styx."

"It's on fire."

Beza looked at Kakuzu as if he were mad.

"Yeah, 'course it is! Special fire, special water."

"So I need to bottle some of that water?"

"Yep. Here, I got somethin' special for ya to use…somewhere…" Beza mumbled, searching his ragged robes. He pulled out a golden locket from an inside pocket, wiped blood off of its smooth, shiny surface and handed it to Kakuzu. The dead nin took the small charm. It was warm to the touch, the chain so tightly woven it felt like cord.

"Put it round your neck," Beza instructed. Kakuzu did so, pulling it over his head. It slipped under his shirt and began to vibrate slightly.

"Ah gooood, seems it likes you."

Kakuzu didn't bother asking what the hell that meant. He walked towards the flaming river. As he got closer, a breeze carried a salty scent his way. Kakuzu held his hand over his mouth. The salt stung his throat and made his eyes water.

"Run for it, Stitches! Gaki and Tengu stay close to the water, lookin' for food!" Beza cried, swinging his walking stick and nearly hitting Kakuzu on the head.

Kakuzu didn't run right away. He didn't like being ordered around by a walking corpse. But when he heard something whisper against his neck "Sooo hungry" he broke into a run. The ground, which had been bouncy, was now smooth and hard, slick as ice. Kakuzu couldn't gain traction and slipped. He skidded onto his belly and felt something big swoop in over him, unseen claws grazing his back, pulling out strands of his hair.

The dead nin's instincts took over and he tried to throw his hand out at the creature, crush its bones, but nothing happened. He then realized that he had no control over his chakra.

"Don't rely on your fancy ninja voodoo here, just ruuuuun!" Beza yelled at him.

Kakuzu got back to his feet as the Tengu turned and dove at him again, screeching. Kakuzu dodged its claws, and sped towards the flaming river ahead. The glass gave way to mounds of flat stones, some as large as boulders. Kakuzu scrambled over them and dropped down to a flat, sandy area. He was finally at the river bank. There before him lay the river Styx, he knew it, but the surface of the water was shrouded in violent flames and black smoke.

The fire stopped at the river's sandy bank, and Kakuzu didn't know of a way to get to the water flowing beneath it without getting burned. The fire rose to about ten feet in the sky, three feet over his head. Kakuzu dropped to his knees at the edge of the fire, and tried to slip off the necklace, planning to swipe the locket into the water by its long chain, but he met resistance. The necklace vibrated harder and grew so heavy that he couldn't get it over his head.

Growling in frustration, Kakuzu tried unfastening the hook, but it had melded itself together. There was a clatter nearby, and Kakuzu saw the old man's cane land nearby. He looked at it and saw a note attached. He ripped it off and in scribbled writing he read "Use Your Head."

'_My head…I have to stick my head in the fire?' _ Kakuzu thought.

He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, opened up the locket, and plunged his head into the waiting flames. Kakuzu bit his tongue to fight the scream as the white hot fire burned his face. He could feel his skin bubbling and melting off of his bones. But he didn't pull his head out. He'd felt worse. He'd been impaled with a hand charged with hundreds of volts of electricity and lived. The first time, anyway. He'd had all the bones broken in his body. Kakuzu could handle a little burn.

Kakuzu lowered his head until he heard the little BLOOP that signaled the locket had slipped under water. He closed the tiny latch, the water a shocking frigid cold compared to the roaring flames resting at its surface, and fell backwards.

The locket vibrated and hummed violently against his chest like a caught bee, then fell silent. Kakuzu thought he was going to vomit, his upper body was screaming with pain. He could smell burning flesh and hair, and knew it was him.

Could he die in Hell?

Kakuzu waited to black out, to fade away again, but after a moment of lying prone on the sandy ground, he opened his eyes. The pain had subsided. He sat up. Beza was jumping up and down, screaming at him. Hordes of creeping, crawling Gaki edged towards him. Too many eyes, far too few arms, pale and slimy as if they'd never seen the light of day.

And in Hell, Kakuzu wasn't sure that there was day.

"Get your stitched up ass over here! They're hungry, and you're cooked to their likin'!"

Kakuzu didn't need to be told twice. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him, the monsters snapping at his heels. He lept clean over the piles of rocks and skidded part of the way. When he reached Beza, he was in one piece. The monsters stopped a few feet away, as if hitting an invisible barrier, and backed away, hissing and growling, gnashing their teeth and snapping their claws. They fizzled out like smoke in the wind.

Kakuzu doubled over, hands on knees, wheezing. The locket hung down, a single drip of water clinging to the hinge keeping the locket shut tight. Kakuzu started to straighten up, watching as the bead of Hell water fell to his feet. It landed on the glassy surface and cracked it. Steam issued out of the crack and Kakuzu stepped away from it.

"Dangerous stuff, that water," Beza said wisely, nodding his head.

"If it can crack the foundations of Hell, imagine what it can do to a man!"

"But I touched it," Kakuzu said, holding out his hands, which were smooth and whole.

"Ah, but your body is made of sturdier stuff than Hell. You're still connected to the World, your body is strengthened by the Anchor. Now I, on the other hand…" Beza trailed off, gesturing to his half melted face, his scrawny limbs.

"It's time we left, I think" Beza added. There was a loud boom, and a flash of light. Kakuzu looked up. The sky was now dark, clouds thick and churning. A fork of lightning struck a nearby tree, and it burst into flame.

"Time to leave, time to leave!" Beza howled, frantic, pushing Kakuzu away from the direction of the river.

"_H-how?"_

"Don't ask questions, they know we have it! _Hurry, go!"_

"GO WHERE?" Kakuzu bellowed.

"_There! Look, it's opening!"_ the old man squealed, pointing at a dwindling fire. Kakuzu ran up to it and the old man did too. The smoke from the small fire whirled and Beza blew at it. The circle of smoke formed a loop, expanding until it was large enough for a grown man to stand in.

"Here!" Beza cried, hurriedly sticking a finger into his mouth, biting down, and smearing the blood first on his forehead, then Kakuzu's. Kakuzu winced at the cold touch.

"Now _go_! And don't come back until you have the Jashinist's soul!"

Beza pushed Kakuzu forward, and he fell through the ring of smoke, falling down instead of forward, the screeching of Gaki reverberating in his ears as he plummeted into darkness once again.


	2. Rebirth

A/N: Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed, faved and subscribed! Early update, because Donna said so! More reviews mean even earlier updates!

Story note: Kakuzu's body isn't his original one. It's a shell that he sort of subconsciously created using his memories. The shell has no elemental affinity, so that's why he doesn't really use any attacks other than the usual threads. Does that make sense?

One other thing: Death has a funny way of changing people. Hopefully, it's for the better.

On with the story!

**To Hell and Back**

**-xXx-**

**Chapter 2: Rebirth **

Unlike death, rebirth was painful, terrifying. The tunnel Kakuzu plummeted through looked like swirling clouds of smoke. At first it was like being in the eye of a tornado. But the walls of the tunnel twisted, contracted and expanded. Sometimes the passage was so narrow Kakuzu's body would scrape against the surface, coming away with blood.

'_Rebirth_.' Kakuzu was descending headfirst through the womb between worlds, passing from Hell to Earth.

The rapid rate he was falling was so great, his skin, taut from the secure stitching, flapped, rippled, threatened to pull away from his face. Kakuzu's stomach leapt into his throat. His knuckles scraped against the rough walls as they contracted around him again.

A high pitched whining met his ears. Kakuzu's heart flipped. He wasn't alone.

Kakuzu heard scratching and digging, and holes appeared in the tunnel walls. Pale white eyes stared through them. _Hungry_ eyes.

"_Huuuuungry….sooooo hungry,"_ one moaned, swiping at Kakuzu with its claws.

Kakuzu turned his head slowly. There was little he could do. Hundreds of razor tipped fingers waited for him down below. He closed his eyes. Claws reached out for him, snagging on his clothes. It was like toppling off a cliff and falling through a thick forest, only the branches ended in sharp talons.

Those claws grabbed hold of one of his legs. He felt as well as heard a sick CRACK. Kakuzu was no longer falling, but being pulled towards a hungry mouth, saliva running in thick cords from its lips. A forked tongue lashed out and wrapped around Kakuzu's waist.

"_Huuungry_…" the Gaki moaned, and opened its mouth wider. Kakuzu kept his eyes closed, not wanting to be hypnotized. He inhaled deeply, and choked on the monster's putrid breath.

Kakuzu hoped that he could control is chakra better, now that he was out of Hell. He focused, ignoring the hot, thick drool falling in his hair and the throbbing pain in his broken leg.

_Come on…chakra…to the arms…_

Something stirred inside his biceps, and Kakuzu felt a jolt of excitement. The wriggling intensified. The threads were moving under his will. Good.

Kakuzu's eyes snapped open, and just before the Gaki's great fangs came down on him, Kakuzu shot his threads from the seams in his arms. They wrapped snugly around the beast's head and squeezed with brutal force, slicing it clean off. Blood, hot and black, sprayed like a morbid fountain, soaking Kakuzu and splattering the tunnel's walls.

Gaki screamed all around him, many of them holding out their massive hands and flicking out their tongues to get a taste. The claws holding Kakuzu loosened, he ripped the tongue away, and he felt himself falling again. The Gaki continued to claw at him, but this time, he knew he could use his chakra infused threads to slap the Gaki away.

The tunnel, once dark and riddled with hungry beasts, brightened. There was a disk of bright blue light. Kakuzu squinted his eyes. Was it an exit? The end of the tunnel at last?

The hole expanded. As he approached it at blinding speeds, Kakuzu saw clouds in the perfect blue.

'_Sky'_ Kakuzu thought.

He fell through the hole, and hit an invisible barrier. He smashed through it. The barrier shattered like glass, shards glittering and spinning out of sight. The hungry, pleading moans of the Gaki faded with the broken pieces.

Kakuzu's leg throbbed again and he gasped. Instead of inhaling air, however, he sucked water into his lungs. Bubbles blew out of his nose, his gaping mouth. Seconds on Earth, and he was drowning.

Fear gripped Kakuzu's heart, but he quickly used his instincts.

Kakuzu kicked hard with his one good leg and swam towards the white, puffy clouds above. His sense of direction was muddled, and if it had been a cloudy night, he wouldn't have known which way was up or down.

The water wasn't deep, and Kakuzu broke the surface before his lungs gave out. Kakuzu gasped for air, his lungs burning. The air was fresh, clean. Human air. There was no rotten stench of death, no brimstone, smoke and fire. No stale Gaki breath.

Kakuzu eyed the land surrounding the water. There was a small sandy beach that ended in forest. '_A pond or small lake, then.'_ Kakuzu swam to shore. Once he hit land, Kakuzu crawled, dragging his leg behind him. Kakuzu got to dry sand, and lay there on his belly.

The sand was hot, coarse but it felt good against his skin. A gentle breeze tousled his hair, the sun warmed his back. Buzzing insects and bird song filled his ears.

Kakuzu thought it was sad, that he had to be dead in order to really appreciate life.

Hell seemed like a bad dream. A chilling nightmare, a warning of what was to come if he didn't change his ways. But the humming of the gold locket against his chest brought Kakuzu to his senses.

No, he was dead, no changing that. He had a temporary body, he wasn't sure how he knew that, but there was a sense of urgency in his gut. His days on Earth, in this Paradise, were numbered.

Kakuzu rolled over and gritted his teeth. His leg…it was still broken. This body was mortal, he had to be careful with it. Kakuzu got shakily to his feet, trying not to put too much pressure on his other leg. He hopped on the beach, searching for a stick he could use as a temporary crutch. He didn't see one, so he cut a branch from an Oak tree. A cardinal flew off, chirping indignantly.

'_This'll have to do until I can find someone who knows medical ninjutsu…'_

The dead shinobi wondered how he would find Hidan. He had no idea where he was…hell he had no idea where he was himself. Once he got to civilization, he'd know. He could usually tell what village he was in just by the look of the buildings and the people.

Kakuzu hobbled on, leaning heavily on his stick and grunting with the effort. He found a path flanked on both sides by forest, and followed it. He felt like an old man going for a stroll in the park. If only that were true.

Sighing, Kakuzu continued his way along, keeping his ears pricked for any signs of human presence. He felt naked, traveling without his cloak and mask.

Kakuzu halted when he heard giggling. Children playing. Sure enough, around the gentle bend in the path came a trio of kids, running around a barking puppy.

"Go get it, Cho!" a boy cried, throwing a stick. The puppy wagged its tail and bounded after it, catching the stick in its jaws and trotting back proudly to its owner. The little girl petted the dog's head.

Kakuzu snorted, smirking despite himself. He searched the children's clothes, looking for anything that could tell him where he was. The tallest of the three children had a rain cloud on the back of his shirt. Hidden Rain, perhaps? Or was it coincidence? Kakuzu couldn't be sure. He'd have to see a forehead protector first.

The three kids obviously weren't ninja. They weren't even old enough to be genin yet. Kakuzu walked past them. The three stopped and gawked at him, as expected. The girl gasped audibly and whispered loudly to the younger boy "You see those stitches on his face?"

"He has creepy eyes!" the littlest one said, forgetting to whisper.

"_Ow_!" he uttered a moment later, the girl no doubt elbowing him in the ribs.

Kakuzu said nothing to them. Why should he? Still, Kakuzu wished he had a cloak. He shivered in the cool shade the trees provided. As if in response, the locket hummed and heated up, spreading warmth through his body.

'_Hell water is awfully friendly,'_ Kakuzu thought.

The old missing Falls nin limped at a slow pace. The path was long and the trees only seemed to grow thicker. Was he heading towards a road, or just getting deeper into the forest? Kakuzu cursed inwardly. He should have asked the kids for directions. Hadn't even crossed his mind.

The wind began to pick up. Kakuzu shivered again. Could he get sick, in this body? He didn't want to find out. He could no longer see the sun. The trees formed a roof with their thick canopies. Kakuzu felt as if he were back in the tunnel, hobbling across it, instead of down.

A twig snapped in the brush beside him, and Kakuzu froze. Another snap. A low mumble. Someone was hiding in the trees, just out of sight. Kakuzu focused his chakra into his right arm. He thought it funny how he had to really stop and think about where to put the chakra, as if he were in training.

The voice grew louder. Kakuzu could catch snippets of it.

"…_if you'd just let it be…"_

"…**hungry, its offspring were grown, I see no cause for concern…"**

"…_balance is broken…"_

Two voices arguing, one harsh, rasping, the other smooth and higher in pitch. Kakuzu's eyes widened.

It couldn't be…

Kakuzu stepped off of the path and lifted his bad leg carefully over the bushes and stepped around thorny brush and young trees. He followed the voices, which had seemed close, but the voices were moving. Kakuzu found the source of the snapping twigs he'd heard. Vines were snaking around underbrush, clutching small birds and mice. Food.

The dead nin followed the vines as they retreated slowly, heading into the heart of the wood. It was tricky to traverse through the forest, with prickly plants and fallen logs scattered about, but Kakuzu managed. He came to a clearing, a large, gnarled old tree in the center. The vines ended there, retreating into the ground at the tree's roots.

Kakuzu, at first glance, wanted to call it oak, but the leaves were strange. Flat with toothy edges. Could this be it? Kakuzu approached the tree. The bark was covered in a fine, green moss. When he was within touching distance, he reached out and laid his palm on the bark. It was cool and dry. The tree flinched under his touch. Kakuzu looked up and a face appeared, half black, half white, eyes gold and gleaming.

"Zetsu?" Kakuzu asked the face.

"**Kakuzu is here…"**

"_but he died…"_

"…**look, it's injured…"**

"…_sh, we don't want to eat him…"_

"**Still hungry…"**

Kakuzu swallowed, remembering the Gaki (sooo hungry).

"Zetsu. Can you tell me where this is?" Kakuzu asked. Maybe he could steer the conversation away from food to things more…productive.

Zetsu looked at Kakuzu with his eerie, piercing eyes.

"_This is our home, our refuge, our space, ours. The forest belongs to us, and us to the forest._ **You're trespassing, you stink of another place. You stink of Hell, you stain our sacred grounds with your condemned feet."**

Kakuzu backed up. Things were not going well. He really had no idea how Zetsu had become entwined in a tree. Zetsu's face looked sort of rough, a bark pattern etched into the skin. How long had the missing Grass nin been here? Kakuzu had only just died. What had happened while he was in Hell, fighting off hungry beasts and fetching water from a flaming river?

"_The damned cannot walk here…"_

"**Let's eat him…"**

"_Yessss…"_

Kakuzu realized this was getting nowhere, except to his second death. He turned and limped away, reaching the edge of the clearing and struggling over the bramble and rotted tree trunks. A vine wrapped around his broken leg. Kakuzu let out a yell and shot threads out of his arm, severing the plant appendage. It snapped back to the tree. A dozen more vines lashed out, slithering like faceless snakes.

The dead shinobi kept cutting the vines away as he clumsily made his escape, his leg screaming in agony every time he tried to use it. Branches whipped at Kakuzu's face as he fled. A vine wrapped tightly around his walking stick and wrenched it from his hand. Another vine hooked around Kakuzu's arm and tugged it behind him, pulling it out of the socket. Kakuzu cried out in pain.

"I won't let you!" Kakuzu snarled and tripped over a low hanging branch. He fell forward, striking hard, smooth ground. He'd gotten back to the path. A dog barked, children laughed.

Back where he started?

The vines, as if afraid of the path, withdrew, slithering back to Zetsu's tree. Kakuzu lay there, panting, sweat pouring down his face, clutching his shoulder, his right leg hurting worse than before. He bit his lip and grabbed the nearest tree for support, pulling himself up. He leaned against it for a moment, trying to get his breathing back to normal. Kakuzu slammed his injured shoulder into the hard wood, snapping it back in place. He grunted in pain, grimacing, squeezing his eyes shut tight.

That was one problem taken care of. Kakuzu tested his arm. He could move it, though it was sore. He thought he heard faint whispering again, and limped away, keeping to the middle of the path, as distant from the foreboding trees as he could. The path wound through the forest for another half hour, but finally, the trees ended abruptly. Kakuzu saw tiled rooftops. Houses. People.

Kakuzu sighed. Finally, he could get his leg looked at. Hopefully this was a ninja village, and not a civilian town. Civilian medicine was slow. The architecture looked familiar to Kakuzu. He started to wonder if maybe it was Hidden Rain after all, when he saw a ninja walk past, the Hidden Rain insignia on his forehead protector.

Kakuzu frowned. It looked like Hidden Rain, but it couldn't be. For one, the weather was too fair. And all of Pein's followers had their symbols scored out. A gust of wind ruffled Kakuzu's hair, cooled the sweat on his skin. He brushed his hair out of his eyes. The wind grew stronger, kicking up dust and bits of paper.

The paper whirled in miniature cyclones, clumping together, forming a shape. Kakuzu stood still and watched as the figure became more humanoid. Last to form was a face, pale, female, large blue eyes. Kakuzu recognized her, but she seemed different. Older, perhaps.

"I thought you were dead," Konan said as the last sheets of paper settled on her shoulders.

"So did I."

"Let's go somewhere quiet. Not good for the Amekage to be seen talking to a dead Akatsuki."

"_Ame…amekage_?" Kakuzu blurted as Konan pulled him into an alley and slipped through a door. She pulled Kakuzu in after her and shut the door, leaning against it.

Konan frowned up at Kakuzu, taking in his slumped form, the way he carried his shoulder, the slashes on his exposed skin.

"You look horrible."

"I ran into another Akatsuki on my way here," Kakuzu grunted as he sat down on a wooden crate.

"Did you?" Konan asked, sounding bored. She settled on a barrel beside Kakuzu, smoothing the fabric of her kimono and tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

"Where's your cloak?" Kakuzu inquired, gesturing to Konan's robes.

"Were you in a coma all this time?"

"Something like that."

"Ah…you've missed a lot…"

"I need information…and someone to fix my leg."

"Did Zetsu not recognize you?" Konan asked, sliding down on the floor on her knees.

She stretched out Kakuzu's leg, making him hiss.

"Oh, stop your whining."

"If it had been chopped off, I could have sewn it back on…but the bone's broken…twisted."

Konan sighed and focused chakra to her hand. Kakuzu watched as the chakra took form as glowing blue light. He remembered the lightning blade and closed his eyes. Konan ran her hand slowly down Kakuzu's leg, mending the shattered bones and torn muscle.

Kakuzu broke out into sweat again. It was painful, having bones and muscles move around inside his body.

"There, all done. It will still be sore, so don't put too much pressure on it for a few days. I'm not the greatest at medical ninjutsu."

"Hn…" Kakuzu grunted, wriggling his toes and feeling the muscles pull as he moved them.

"Don't undo what I just did!" Konan snapped.

Kakuzu stopped moving.

"Konan…when's the last time you saw me?" Kakuzu asked suddenly. Konan frowned, thinking. She was definitely older, there were faint lines at the corners of her eyes. Her hair was even longer.

"The last time I saw _everyone_ was about eight years ago, when we were sealing two Jinchuuriki at once."

Kakuzu felt his heart flip. Eight years…he swore, he'd only been in Hell for a few hours. He would have understood a few months, even. But _years_?

"Kakuzu?"

"Yeah…just…I didn't think so much time had passed."

"So you can imagine my shock at seeing you."

"What happened?" Kakuzu asked.

Konan stared at her hands in her lap, a sad expression befalling her pretty face.

"_Konoha_," she spat bitterly.

Kakuzu sighed. He'd been beaten by Konoha as well. That weird kid…the Jinchuuriki…had rendered him helpless. And his sensei had finished Kakuzu off with a single blow. He had never expected to die that day…

"…didn't work out too well," Konan was saying. Kakuzu shook his head.

"What happened to everyone? Deidara? Kisame? _Hidan_?"

"Well…Deidara died shortly after you did. He went up against Itachi's brother."

"Another brat from Konoha," Kakuzu cut in. Konan nodded, smiling.

"But at least Deidara went out the way he wanted to."

Kakuzu smirked. The kid had gone out 'with a bang' as he'd always threatened he would.

"And…everyone else?"

Though the only one he really needed to know about was Hidan, Kakuzu was curious.

"Well," Konan began, rubbing her hands together, "Madara's still alive, but he's in a high security prison cell in Konoha. Zetsu, as you've seen, is alive, but after Madara's incarceration, he took root in the forest near this village. I think he may have lost most of his humanity over the years."

"Yeah…" Kakuzu murmured, rubbing his shoulder.

"The rest of us died in battle..."

Kakuzu leaned forward.

"Where is Hidan?"

Konan's eyes widened.

"His body, you mean?"

"_Where_?" Kakuzu repeated.

"Well…we never looked for Hidan's body. We just assumed…ah…that…without _you_…"

"Konan," Kakuzu said loudly, cutting her off, "you don't have to explain it to me. I just need to know where he is."

"Oh…well, I don't know. But I'd say…your best bet is to look near where he last fought."

"Konoha," Kakuzu sighed heavily.

"You didn't wake up out of an eight year coma, did you?" Konan asked slowly. Kakuzu gave a short, barking laugh.

"No. Would you believe me if I told you I came back to life?"

"Of course I would," Konan replied with a smile.

"Pein could revive himself after death, you know."

"Ah…how did he…?" Kakuzu trailed off, seeing Konan's face fall.

"It was the Kyuubi child. Pein killed Jiraiya and…Jiraiya was his mentor. When he'd found out about his death, and who had killed him, the boy came after us."

"How did Kisame go?"

"Suigetsu. A young man who was traveling with Itachi's brother."

"Will you tell me now, how you went from a criminal to the Amekage…which…if I have my facts straight, wasn't possible eight years ago?"

Konan laughed. It was genuine, warm and made her look more like her old self.

"This village looked up to me. After Pein's death, Hidden Rain needed a leader. Konoha didn't have any incriminating evidence on me, and I used it to my advantage."

Konan shrugged with a coy smile.

"I guess…I make a fitting leader. The financial hardships our village had faced for so long started to ease away when we opened the country up to free trade. In a short time, we earned enough wealth and power to be bumped up to one of the leading countries in the world. And you know what that means," Konan finished.

Kakuzu nodded.

"Amekage."

"Is that gambling woman still the Hokage?" Kakuzu asked.

"No."

Konan fell silent. Kakuzu quirked an eyebrow.

"Then who is it? That Kakashi nin? The Uchiha brat?"

"Neither. It's the Kyuubi kid."

"_What_? Why did they let a monster become Hokage?"

Konan laughed bitterly.

"Supposedly, he keeps his monster under control."

"Hn…well, thanks for fixing my leg, Konan. I don't have much time, I need to head to Konoha, see if I can pick up Hidan's trail."

"Aren't you hungry? _Thirsty_? You need a change of clothes, at least!"

Kakuzu would have argued, but his stomach growled as he started to protest.

"Come on, old man," Konan said, giggling, offering Kakuzu a hand. He took it, letting the kunoichi drag him to her house, both of them ignoring the gawking passersby.

**-xXx-**

"Aaaaah," Kakuzu sighed, closing his eyes and pushing away from the table. Konan had laid out a feast fit for a king. Kakuzu had never tasted anything so good. For the second time since his rebirth, he'd felt regret that he had to be dead in order to enjoy the simple things.

The clothes Konan had given Kakuzu were typical ninja attire. Black shirt, black pants, sandals. She even found him a mask to wear over his face, as well as a cloak similar to the Akatsuki cloak, only it had a hood instead of a high collar.

"There's a guest bedroom upstairs you can use, if…"

"No, I've really got to go. I'm on borrowed time."

"Aren't we all?" Konan sighed, taking another sip of her sake.

Kakuzu got to his feet, slipped the mask over his mouth, pulled the hood over his head, and padded over to his sandals. He slipped them on and headed for the door. Kakuzu opened it but paused, glancing back at Konan.

She looked miserable, sitting alone at the long oval dining table. No children running amuck in the house, tugging at her skirt. No husband leaning down to peck her on the cheek. Madara had had a dream. And he didn't care who he sacrificed to make it a reality.

"This may sound strange, coming from me, but you need to move on. Pein's not coming back," Kakuzu said and stepped over the threshold, snapping the door shut behind him. He didn't want to see Konan's face, but as he hesitated at the door, he thought he could hear muffled sobbing.

The dead Falls nin started walking down the path, heading for Fire Country.

**-xXx-**

So, what did you think of seeing Zetsu again? The end of this chapter has made me and Renren shippers of KakuKonan. Go check out her PeinKonanKaku love triangle story! It's sweet! Renren is PurpleWolfStar35, by the way.

Um, anything else? Hm…next chapter, Kakuzu visits the Haunted Forest of the Nara clan! They say a banshee lives there…I wonder who or what that could be?


	3. Soul Mate

A/N: I didn't know all the facts concerning how long it takes to walk from Hidden Rain to Fire Country, and other things to do with the Nara clan's land and such. Don't worry too much about those kinds of details. We're off to see the banshee! Yay! Review, please!

**To Hell and Back**

**-xXx-**

**Chapter 3: Soul Mate**

It was only a three day walk from Hidden Rain to Konoha, and since he was keeping to a major road, Kakuzu hadn't bothered to pack food. Konan had slipped money in the pockets of his cloak, and that would surely get him to his destination. Coins clinked merrily in his pockets, and Kakuzu planned on saving that money for when he really needed it. As long as the weather stayed fair, he could sleep outside.

Kakuzu didn't mind rain, but the two years he'd spent partnered with Hidan had instilled a necessity to stay indoors during a storm. Hidan hated rain, and the only way to stop his complaining was to relent and pay up at an inn, usually one room, and one bed. Kakuzu would sleep on a chair or the floor. Back then, he had four masks on his back, and lying on it was uncomfortable in any case. A squishy bed made no difference.

It felt surreal to be dead, yet able to experience life. He wasn't a ghost wandering the Earth, doomed to a sad, unseen existence. Nor was he a zombie, rotting, a grotesque monster shunned from the world.

There was a certain uplifting feeling in Kakuzu's heart. Compared to Hell, Earth was Paradise. He would give his soul in order to be able to walk upon it forever. And before he'd died, he thought that he had done just that. The weather, for the first few days, agreed with his pleasant demeanor. The sky was an endless blue, the clouds like torn bits of cotton. The air was warm, the scent of flowers carried on the breeze.

Why was Kakuzu in such a hurry to go back to Hell? He knew he was supposed to kill Hidan and bring his soul back with him. But he no longer understood exactly why. The locket tucked under his shirt hummed every once in a while to remind him of his 'mission,' but it never gave any real answers.

Kakuzu rested little. He was full of energy and it felt good to just _walk_. It wasn't until he'd passed into Fire Country, on the night of his second day that the weather took a turn for the worse. Those light, fluffy clouds grew dark and dreary. The wind gusted, whistling and howling. Kakuzu was in open fields now, and when the rain came down in torrents, he sought shelter in a farmer's barn.

He sat down on the straw, taking in the scent of manure and oats and listening to the rain pummel the barn roof. A cow mooed. The smell of farm animals wasn't unpleasant to a man who'd faced the putrid breath of a man eating beast. Kakuzu toyed with the locket hanging from the chain while waiting for the storm to pass. The gold was peculiar. It seemed to glow, even in the near dark of the barn. It was always warm, almost alive.

Kakuzu knew a thing or two about gold, having lusted after it for years. This was not Earth gold. And he doubted Hell could create something so beautiful. He hung the locket by its chain and watched it sway gently back and forth like a pendulum. His green eyes followed the locket, mesmerized by it. Kakuzu licked his lips. The missing Falls nin's heart began to beat in time to the swinging locket.

An abrupt neigh of a horse snapped Kakuzu back to his senses. He slipped the locket back under his shirt. The rain had stopped. He could hear birds chirping. Kakuzu stepped out of the barn, plucking hay off of his cloak, and smelled rain still heavy in the air. A beam of sunlight shot through a break in the clouds. Mist covered the rolling grasslands. A rainbow arched in the sky.

'_Paradise.' _

Kakuzu inhaled the rain perfumed air, and decided to do more walking. He was close to the Fire Temple now. The sky cleared by the time night had properly set in. Stars shimmered in the vastness of space, black velvet studded with diamonds. The missing Falls nin sighed heavily, and left the path to hike through the long wet grass. He ran his fingers over the tips. Kakuzu climbed a gently sloping hill where the grass was shorter, and lay on his back, staring up at the stars.

Why had he never done this in life?

Kakuzu let his eyelids droop and dozed. A firefly landed on his nose, and Kakuzu brushed it away, sitting back up and stretching. A thick fog had set in. Crickets chirped. The mournful hoot of an owl echoed across the plain. Kakuzu got back on the path and continued his walk.

He walked all night, until the first light of the sun climbed over the fog, clearing it away. Kakuzu found an apple tree along the way, and picked a few. He bit into one. The juice ran down his chin and he wiped it off. Fresh apples, free shower, a beautiful view. It was just too good to be true. Kakuzu felt euphoric. After four days on Earth, it still hadn't worn off.

As the sun climbed higher in the sky, Kakuzu approached the Fire Temple. He had no reason to go in; it just provided a good starting point for tracking down Hidan.

An eight year old trail was near impossible for even the most skilled ninja, but somehow, Kakuzu was confident that he would be able to find Hidan's body. The locket was the key. He wasn't sure how he knew that, but he'd learned to follow his gut feeling.

Sure enough, the gold locket hummed, vibrating against his chest. Kakuzu pulled it out and held it tight in his palm as he began to walk towards the temple. He could almost see Hidan beside him, could hear himself tell Hidan to watch himself, or he'd be killed. And Hidan's response. Smarmy. Conceited. So full of himself. It brought a smile to Kakuzu's lips.

"Hidan…where are you?" Kakuzu asked the empty courtyard before the temple.

He felt a faint pull to his left, and started heading that way. The locket vibrated faster and heated up as he got further into Fire Country. After an hour, Kakuzu began to feel weak. The locket got hotter and hotter, and Kakuzu was convinced it was draining him of his chakra in order to do its magic.

Kakuzu stopped to rest by an old well. He ate another apple stowed in his pocket. The sun was over the half way mark in the sky. It would get dark soon. And still no physical trace of Hidan. Kakuzu rested against the well and dozed again, the gold locket still clasped tightly in his hand. As he drifted to sleep, his hand loosened, and the gold locket hung outside of his shirt, gleaming in the shade cast by long shadows from neighboring trees.

"Oooh, isn't that pretty?" a little girl asked.

Kakuzu startled awake. Three kids were goggling him, the girl's fingers inches away from touching his gold locket. It was vibrating so fast it emitted a low squeal. Kakuzu jumped to his feet and quickly shoved the locket under his shirt.

"Don't touch it, it's dangerous!" Kakuzu snapped. The girl's lip began to tremble.

"Awww, see what you've done?" the smallest of the kids, the boy, cried.

"When Muka starts crying, she goes on for _ever_!"

"Kid, with people like that, the only thing you can do is sew their lips shut," Kakuzu growled.

"Chouji, quiet! Don't make him mad!" the other girl said. The two girls looked identical, the same brown hair, pulled into pig tails. The boy, also with brown hair, had it pulled up on top of his head. He looked familiar.

"Do you live around here?" Kakuzu asked.

"Yeah, this is Nara clan territory. And you're trespassing!" the boy named Chouji cried.

He ran up to Kakuzu and kicked him in the shin. In his sore leg. Kakuzu hissed in pain and pulled the boy up by his hair.

"Try that again, brat," Kakuzu snarled into the kid's face.

"Let him go!" the girls cried in unison.

Kakuzu stared at the boy's face. The kid stared right back, determined. The old missing Falls nin felt his anger subside, and dropped the boy to the ground.

"Chouji, are you okay?"

"You better watch it; my dad is the great Shikamaru!" Chouji yelled defiantly.

Kakuzu felt a small jolt at that pronouncement. Shikamaru…that rang a bell.

_"Chooouji!"_ one of the twin girls pleaded, pulling on Chouji's arm.

"What makes this…_Shikamaru_…so great?" Kakuzu asked slowly.

Chouji puffed out his chest, smirking.

"Well, he's only the greatest ninja of the Nara clan! He can kill you…with _shadows_…" Chouji explained, dropping his voice down low and twiddling his fingers.

The two girls clutched each other in fear. Kakuzu nodded. Shadows. This was it. He was close now.

"If you think that's scary, you should go to the haunted forest," Chouji went on, misinterpreting Kakuzu's widening eyes for fear.

"Haunted forest?" Kakuzu repeated.

"Yeah, a banshee lives in a pit deep in the woods. Not even the deer will go near it."

"Can you show me where that is?" Kakuzu asked.

"Only if you be nice, and give Muka your necklace."

Kakuzu pulled the locket out of his shirt.

"I would if I could, but it's dangerous, kid. How about…" Kakuzu rummaged in his pockets, "an apple?"

"What, an _apple_? That's cheap!" Chouji complained.

"Do we each get our own?" one of the twins asked.

"No, but we can all share."

"WHAT?" the kids all whined.

"Spoiled Konoha brats," Kakuzu growled. He held the apple by the stem, and slid a single thread out, quickly dicing the apple into four pieces. He caught them and handed them to the kids, keeping one for himself.

"WHOA," all three kids gasped, eyes wide.

"Hey, your piece is bigger than mine, Muka!"

"No it's not, Hotaru, they're all the same!"

"Will you show me the haunted forest now?" Kakuzu asked amidst the bickering of the twin girls.

"Y-yeah…" Chouji replied faintly. He gaped at his apple piece, shoved it in his mouth, and while noisily chewing, he tugged on Kakuzu's sleeve.

"This way," Chouji said thickly, munching on his fruit.

"_Don't talk with your mouth full!"_

"Shut _up_, Hotaru!"

**-X-**

Shikamaru's son led Kakuzu by the arm the entire way, keeping a tight hold on his sleeve. The girls fell silent as they delved deeper into the forest. They kept to a path for a while until they passed by a dead tree ensnared in hundreds of leafy vines. Kakuzu half expected them to move. They didn't.

"Okay, now we get off the path, and follow the ants," Chouji whispered, pointing to the leaf covered floor.

Kakuzu narrowed his eyes. It was dark in the dense forest, and at first, all he could see were dark grays and browns. Then, he saw movement. Tiny black bodies, a few shades darker than the ground cover, marched along in a line, carrying bits of green leaves on their backs.

"They live near the banshee's pit. Don't let them get on you, though, they bite."

Kakuzu let the boy keep an eye out for the ants. There was a rustle and a yelp. Chouji halted and Kakuzu bumped into him.

"Mukade, you're such a klutz!" he shouted.

"Ssssh! Don't let the banshee hear you!" the other girl hissed, helping Mukade to her feet.

"Have you ever heard this banshee?" Kakuzu asked, curious.

"Once. I was looking for a fawn that got injured. I got too close…and…and I _heard_ it."

"What did it say?"

"Well, most of it was just…screaming. But I think I heard it say…"

"Yes?" Kakuzu urged. Chouji stopped walking and looked up into Kakuzu's face, the child's eyes huge.

"Fucking heathens."

_Hidan_.

"Oh my God, Chouji, I'm telling!"

"Me too!"

_"Quiet, or I'll leave you two out here!_" Chouji snapped and started walking again.

Kakuzu's heart sped up, the locket humming again, drawing him towards his Soul Mate, his Anchor to the world. It was so dark he could hardly see his own feet, let alone tiny ants on the forest floor, but the kids didn't seem to mind the dark. The girls were holding hands, one of them grabbing hold of the back of Kakuzu's cloak.

They approached a large tree, much bigger than the one Zetsu had taken residence in. The trunk was as wide as a house, its branches thick as the body of a grown man. There, the kids stopped, gawking at something beyond the tree. Chouji pointed.

"There. Past the ant tree…dad won't let us go there. Traps…and…the banshee beyond that."

Kakuzu started to walk, and felt a tug on his cloak. He looked down to see the twin girls staring tearfully up at him.

"Are you really going to go see the monster?"

"Yeah. Now go run home, and don't tell your dad about me."

"Why not?"

"Because, I'll kill you," Kakuzu stated coldly.

The three kids fell silent.

"Go home. _Now_."

Threads eased out of Kakuzu's arms and the kids turned and ran. Kakuzu knew it would have been better to just kill them, but he didn't need the dad to come looking for his kids when they didn't show up for the night.

Alone, Kakuzu plodded on. He listened intently for any screaming and was disappointed. The trees thinned out and moonlight pooled onto the forest floor, providing just enough light. The locket started to hum again, glowing in Kakuzu's hand.

"_Show me where he is,"_ Kakuzu whispered.

Kakuzu plowed on forward. He kicked up leaves, seeing what could have been traces of exploding tags. What had happened to Hidan when he fought the kid from the Nara clan? String hung down like spider thread from the branches nearby. More evidence to take into consideration. Kakuzu kept walking, and then stepped into a hole and fell. He flung his arms out, grabbing onto roots, his threads snaking out to wrap around a tree trunk. Kakuzu pulled himself up and panted, his heart thudding in his chest.

Then Kakuzu froze.

"_Ffuuuuuuuck_!"

"Hidan?!"

"_Cuuursed_ be your clan. Fucking…_heathens_…AAAAAARGH!"

"Hidan! Shut the hell up and I'll get you out of there!" Kakuzu snarled.

Hidan's voice had always irritated him, even after not hearing it for so long.

"_Heathens_," Hidan moaned again.

Kakuzu rolled his eyes and secured some of his tendrils around the tree trunk again, lowering himself slowly down the deep trench. Once he got to the bottom, He squinted around. The only light came from the locket, which glowed bright as a candle flame. Hidan's head lay close to Kakuzu's feet. His face was smeared with dirt, the light hair dull and gray.

"Hidan."

"Death and misery to your family…rot in _hell_, bastard…"

"Hidan, snap the hell out of it!" Kakuzu growled, picking up the priest's head.

"AAAAARGH," Hidan howled as if Kakuzu had hurt him.

"I know you've been down in this hole for eight years, but if you don't shut your mouth, I'm going to sew it shut."

Hidan opened his eyes. They were bloodshot, rolling into the back of his head.

"Ffffuck you!" he croaked.

Kakuzu had never seen Hidan in such a pitiful state. Beheaded, yes, broken bones, heavy blood loss, severed limbs. But never split into so many pieces of meat, covered in filth, half mad from his earthy prison. And that's what it was. A prison fit for an immortal.

Rage rose like bile in Kakuzu's throat. He should have murdered those brats.

"Kah…Kakuzuuuu," Hidan groaned.

"Yeah. Hold on, I'll put you back together," Kakuzu murmured, threads snaking out of his sleeves. It took a long time to find all the pieces. Some were so small or disfigured he couldn't figure out what they even were. It was tedious work, piecing Hidan together, like a surgeon's version of a puzzle.

It never crossed his mind that it might have been kinder to just pour the Hell water down Hidan's throat while he was still half delirious.

A sense of duty took over Kakuzu's thoughts, and he worked hard, until Hidan resembled a grotesque rag doll. Hopefully, his rapid healing powers would kick in soon and fill in the gaps.

Hidan had gone quiet while Kakuzu stitched him together, and Kakuzu wondered if he'd finally died, whatever grace granted to him finally losing its power. But Hidan opened his eyes and moaned. He flexed his fingers and glanced up into Kakuzu's face with pleading eyes.

"K-Kuzuuu."

"Yeah, it's me," Kakuzu said.

Hidan stared around wildly, the whites of his eyes gleaming in the semi-darkness.

"Wh-what…"

"For once in your life, Hidan, _shut up_. Let your body heal for a while."

Hidan managed to cling to Kakuzu's cloak, resting his head in the old nin's lap. Kakuzu tried to push Hidan off of him but he only clutched tighter. Kakuzu stared into Hidan's face as he struggled to breathe. The locket hung down, brushing against the tip of the priest's nose every so often. Every time it made contact, it let out a soft, high pitched hum.

While he gazed into that starved face cast in golden light, Kakuzu contemplated his objectives. Now that he had found Hidan, he didn't want to kill him. Hidan was his Anchor to this world, after all. His link to Paradise.

His Soul Mate.


	4. The Cell

A/N: I'm not keeping to my original update schedule at all! But you're not complaining about the early updates, right? More characters show up! Once again, the pairings for this story are:

KakuHida, PeinKonan, ?Konan, GaaSaku, ShikaTema, NejiTen, onesided NaruSaku

I absolutely LOVE this chapter, by the way. I couldn't decide on a good title for it, so until I think of a better one, it's just "The Cell." That is also the title of a really cool movie, by the way. Jennifer Lopez is a terrible actress, but all the artsy eye candy was awesome. Kay I'll shut up now!

**To Hell and Back**

**-xXx-**

**Chapter 4: The Cell**

Kakuzu kept watch on Hidan until light filtered into the pit Hidan had called home for eight years. The older nin's back was stiff, his legs full of pins and needles from the body (albeit rather light) resting on them for so long. Kakuzu slid out from under Hidan and straightened up, stretching. Hidan, looking much healthier already, mumbled incoherently in his sleep. Kakuzu thought about waking him, and shook him a few times.

"F-fuck off," Hidan groaned, throwing his arm over his face. Kakuzu pulled hard on Hidan's arm, and the priest yelped as some of the stitches holding it together came undone.

"Five more minutes," Hidan mumbled and turned over, holding his arm close to his chest. Kakuzu growled in frustration.

"You were always so damned hard to get up," Kakuzu grumbled, but he left Hidan alone.

Kakuzu climbed out of the pit and once on proper ground, he walked off into the bushes to relieve himself. The old missing Falls nin was just tucking his shirt back into his pants when he heard movement behind him. He turned around, and saw a man standing there, hands forming a familiar seal. Chouji, the little boy who'd led him to Hidan, was hiding behind his father's legs, shooting nervous glances at Kakuzu.

"Shikamaru," Kakuzu said as the shadow bind took hold of him.

"You're supposed to be dead," Shikamaru answered.

"Everyone tells me that," Kakuzu sighed. Shikamaru turned to the boy hiding behind him.

"Chouji, go back home."

The boy looked furious.

"Awwww, dad, I wanna see you fight him!"

"Go home now, Chouji. This man is dangerous."

"_But dad!"_

"NOW!"

Chouji jumped and scurried away. Kakuzu watched him go.

"You didn't hurt them."

Kakuzu turned back to Shikamaru, who was frowning.

"Why?"

"Don't really know," Kakuzu admitted. He would have shrugged, but Shikamaru's shadow bind was too strong.

"I thought our worries with the Akatsuki were over. Seems I was wrong."

"I'm not Akatsuki anymore. I just wanted to…pay my respects to Hidan," Kakuzu said slowly. He knew Shikamaru wouldn't buy it.

"Right. Well, now you'll have to answer to the Hokage," Shikamaru drawled with a knowing smile.

As if on cue, three ninja appeared in a poof of smoke. Kakuzu recognized two of them. The Kyuubi kid was now a man, wearing a white robe with the number six emblazed in kanji on his chest. Beside him was the pink haired girl who'd killed Sasori. The third nin, Kakuzu didn't know. Though the large, wolfish dog at his side suggested he was from the Inuzuka clan.

"Kakuzu!" the pink haired woman cried, eyes wide. Kakuzu snorted.

"I'm surprised any of you remembered my name."

"But you're dead! I helped Tsunade-sama perform your autopsy!"

"What happened to my body afterwards? Cremation? Or do Konoha nins still have some shred of respect for the dead, and it was buried?"

"We…"

"We burned your bodies, and melted down your rings!" Naruto snarled. The dog barked.

"Sh, Akamaru, quiet," Kiba murmured, scratching the dog behind the ears.

'_What am I going to do?'_ Kakuzu asked himself, heart beating rapidly in his chest.

He'd let himself get caught by the shadow bind. And now he was surrounded by powerful shinobi, two of whom had taken down strong Akatsuki. When they were only children. As adult nins, they must be much stronger. Especially the Jinchuuriki.

Jinchuuriki…Kyuubi…

The locket began to hum under Kakuzu's shirt. He could feel it grow warm against his skin, pulsing in time with his heart beat. Something whispered in his ear, a dark, guttural voice.

"…_**Hell water…Stygian life force…bring it…to me…"**_

Kakuzu's breath hitched. He looked to Naruto, searching his face. Naruto's eyes were wide, his chest rising and falling rapidly. Sakura noticed and placed a hand on Naruto's shoulder.

"Are you okay?"

"…_**let him taste…let me be freeee…"**_

"_Naruto!"_

Kakuzu swallowed hard. The Kyuubi…he was hearing the voice of the demon fox. And judging by his reaction, Naruto could too. Kakuzu had never heard a bijuu's voice before. Until today, he'd never known they could actually speak.

"_Naruto, snap out of it!"_

A red, bubbling aura grew around Naruto and he fell on all fours. Ephemeral tails grew out of his back, Kakuzu counted three before, with a roar of rage, Naruto pulled himself together. The aura faded and the sixth Hokage returned to normal, panting, sweat trickling down his brow.

"Naruto, what happened?" Sakura cried, helping Naruto to his feet. Shikamaru narrowed his eyes at Kakuzu.

"I've only got a few minutes left until I have to release this guy. Naruto, I'm going to take him to a holding cell. Is that alright?"

"Yeah…just…be careful," Naruto panted, "and make sure…to have…Anbu guards…"

"Well, let's go, dead man. You can say hello to your leader."

"I'll go with you," Kiba said, "Akamaru, you stay with Naruto and Sakura."

Leaving the dog to guard the Jinchuuriki and the kunoichi, Kiba and Shikamaru took Kakuzu, who mimicked the shadow manipulating nin's movements, into the heart of Konoha.

**-X-**

Kakuzu felt the locket sort of cling to the Kyuubi, there was a pull that wrenched at his gut, as if he were connected to the demon fox by a chain and every step he took increased the strain on it. Threatened to snap the links.

Konoha…Kakuzu hadn't stepped foot in the village since its early days, when he'd first met Madara and fought the Shodaime Hokage. It had changed a great deal since then. The old wooden houses were replaced with tall, brick apartments. Telephone lines snaked through the rooftops like hastily spun spider webs. It was early morning, and the streets were still fairly empty. Kakuzu wondered what day of the week it was. He thought about asking when he felt the shadow bind loosen.

Kakuzu flexed his muscles and his tendrils snaked out of his arms. The bind intensified and his hands moved on their own, fingers lacing together and arms held over his head.

"That was close, Shikamaru," the Inuzuka man said.

"Sorry, slipped for a moment," came the reply. Shikamaru yawned and Kakuzu's mouth mimicked the movement. Kakuzu remembered the last time he'd seen the brat. He'd bound Hidan and ran off, Hidan helplessly running with him, separating the notorious 'zombie brothers.'

The kid had been smart. Too smart. Kakuzu felt a pang of regret. If only he'd swallowed his pride and took the Konoha nins seriously. Hidan wouldn't have ended in such a miserable state. Kakuzu, himself, wouldn't have died. They should have fled.

If, if, if. No changing the past. Even the dead could not do that.

"Here we are…" Shikamaru said, pushing open an iron door. They'd entered the prison building without Kakuzu being aware of it. How his mind had wandered…

Kakuzu stepped into the small cell. The door clanged shut, and Kakuzu felt the constricting shadow bind loosen, then leave him completely. His hands were in shackles behind his back. When had those gotten there?

'_Hidan…now what?'_

Kakuzu was at a loss. He stared around the small eight by eight cell. A dingy toilet in one corner, a cot in the other. No window. It was dark, the only light was the thin white glow under the door, and the faint gold gleam of his locket. It glowed beneath his clothes. He yearned to pull it out and hold it in his palm, but of course that was impossible. Kakuzu attempted to release some of his threads, but nothing happened. The shackles constricted his chakra flow. No jutsu. Great.

The missing Falls nin sat on the cot and stared at his toes, the warm glow of the locket illuminating his face, making his eyes appear yellow. He sat there and ran over the words of Beza, the demon, in his mind. Get to Earth, kill Hidan, and come back to Hell with his soul. Join the army or whatever the hell it is ninja do these days.

But then…the Kyuubi had reacted to the locket, more specifically, to the water contained within. Stygian life force, he'd called it.

And why didn't Kakuzu kill Hidan right away? Did it matter if Hidan was whole, or in pieces, when he drank the water? Kakuzu really had no answers to explain his behavior. He'd been nice to Konan, he spared the lives of the children of the man who had blown his partner to pieces and left him to rot in a wretched hole in the ground.

The old Kakuzu, the living Kakuzu, would have handled things much more differently.

Kakuzu sighed and lay on his side on the cot. He closed his eyes. His mind was whirling, working to try to come up with a plan. Sitting in a cell until he faded was not an option. But there was no definite answer. Kakuzu slipped into an uneasy sleep. His dreams melded together, half shaped memories or images that blurred seamlessly into each other…

_Kakuzu ran up the steps to the Fire Temple, Hidan keeping stride with him, laughing breathlessly. Kakuzu turned his head and he and Hidan exchanged a smile. _

_The scene shifted, and now Kakuzu was sitting at a table across from his partner, the two sharing a small lunch. Hidan's face contorted into anger as he spit out a mouthful of food, complaining about cold fish and bland vegetables. _

_Hidan's face began to melt, his eyes bulged. The tiny one room apartment crumbled away to reveal a gray, featureless wasteland. The table suddenly caught fire and Hidan and Kakuzu jumped to their feet. But it was no longer Hidan. The old man, the demon, stood before Kakuzu, cackling, leaning heavily on his walking stick. _

"_I want that tasty Jashinist's soul, Stitches! And the Kyuubi's too!"_

_The demon held out his hand, and within it there was a fresh heart, a beaded necklace wrapped around the pumping organ. A charm bearing the seal of Jashin hung on the end of the necklace. _

_Kakuzu reached out to grab the heart and it burst into flame. He snatched his hand back as the fire engulfed the demon, whose body turned to a pillar of dust and blew away. The fire grew, a dark cloud of smoke billowing in the air. The smoke gathered into a dense cloud and it began to rain. The cold shower put out the fire, and drenched Kakuzu to the bone. He watched as out of the ashes, the Kyuubi emerged. It was the size of a cat at first, but it swelled and morphed rapidly until it towered over the ninja like a vast, breathing hill of flesh and fur. _

"…_**the world…is ours…"**_

_The demon fox brought its nine tails down hard on the ground, and it shook, cracked open. Hundreds of pale, slimy insects scuttled out of the opening in the earth. One lunged at Kakuzu, wrapping its many jointed legs tightly around him, binding his arms to his sides. The giant insect's head was concealed by an Anbu mask. _

_It reared back its head and then smashed into Kakuzu's skull. The mask cracked, and as the pieces fell away, it revealed a face. Young and fair, with large, heavy lidded eyes, blood red hair. _

"_Sasori…"_

"_Don't let him take the locket."_

"_Wh-what?"_

_The strange, segmented legs tightened their hold on Kakuzu's body as Sasori leaned in until his lips brushed against the shell of Kakuzu's ear. _

"_Don't let him take it…" Sasori whispered, and sunk his teeth into the soft cartilage. The missing Falls nin screamed. _

Kakuzu startled awake, sitting up. He was only vaguely surprised to see that Sasori was really there, standing in the shadows in the opposite corner.

"Enjoying your time on Earth?" Sasori asked.

Kakuzu smirked.

"Well, I _was_, until…" Kakuzu trailed off, shrugging his shoulders. The shift in movement made the chains linking his cuffs jingle.

"You don't have much time left."

"I _know_ that," Kakuzu growled.

"Whatever you do, don't let that Jinchuuriki take the locket."

Kakuzu narrowed his eyes. He'd thought there was something suspicious about the Jinchuuriki.

"Trust me, something very bad will happen if you let the Kyuubi kid get a hold of the locket," Sasori explained, taking a few steps forward. Kakuzu saw that he wore simple black robes, his feet bare. Kakuzu stared at the toes. They were made of flesh and bone, no artificial joints. Sasori followed Kakuzu's gaze and smiled.

"New body," he said, wriggling his toes, "much better make than my old one, I'll admit."

Kakuzu smirked.

"Who made it?"

Sasori cocked his head.

"If you listen to me instead of that demon, you may just find out _who_. Anyway…I came here to warn you."

Sasori's face grew darker.

"About what?"

"That demon. You can't trust any demon…but to get involved with _him_…"

"The old man?" Kakuzu said, searching his memory for his name, "_Beza_?"

Sasori nodded.

"He's plotting something much bigger than you realize. And you're helping him."

"Well at the time…I thought…"

"It doesn't matter now," Sasori said, waving his hand, "just keep the locket away from the Jinchuuriki until you get out of here."

Kakuzu's eyebrows flew up into his hair.

"And how am I supposed to escape?"

Sasori smiled again.

"You have Heaven on your side now."

"_Heaven?"_

"Looks like my time is up," Sasori murmured. He held up his hands. They were fading, Kakuzu could see the toilet through them.

"Maybe I'll see you sometime soon," Sasori said as he disappeared, his voice echoing in Kakuzu's head long after his body vanished.

**-X-**

Kakuzu had no proper sense of time anymore. It could have been hours, weeks, hell, even _years_ when the cell door opened and two Anbu marched in, flanking the pink haired girl. She looked nervous, but when she ordered the Anbu to check Kakuzu's cuffs, her voice was steady. The Anbu pulled Kakuzu to his feet. He towered over Sakura, glaring down at her.

If he could convince her somehow that he was trustworthy, perhaps just maybe she would take the shackles off…Hidan could manipulate women with his attitude, his handsome face. But Kakuzu had never been able to sway someone without a handful of money, or his fists. Kakuzu remembered something Sasori had said…

'_You have Heaven on your side now…'_

He needed a miracle. _Now._

"I'm going to examine your body, in hopes of finding out exactly how you are even here," Sakura explained. She turned to the Anbu.

"Hold him down," she commanded. The Anbu wordlessly obeyed, pushing Kakuzu down onto the cot, his arms crushed under his body.

Sakura gathered chakra into her hand. It glowed a faint blue and Kakuzu thought of Konan. If he and Hidan made it out of Konoha, he planned on returning to Hidden Rain. He felt that he owed at least that much to Konan, for helping him. His leg was feeling much better now. Or that's what he thought, until the Konoha girl's hand reached it and there was a sharp pain that made Kakuzu tense.

The pink haired girl gasped and pulled her hand away when she got to his abdomen.

"You're…you're…" Sakura stuttered, and then placed her hand back on Kakuzu's side, brows furrowed in concentration.

"You're missing organs. I feel a heart, lungs…kidneys, liver. But the spleen, pancreas…most other organs are just…they're missing. It feels like…"

"A shell?" Kakuzu prompted. He wasn't sure how the word popped into his head, but now that he said it, it seemed to fit.

Sakura nodded slowly.

"What are you?"

"A dead man," Kakuzu answered simply, "and I don't have much time. Let me go. I haven't harmed anyone, this time around."

"And why should I? You and your partner are murderers, criminals! Just like that puppet!"

"You don't know what you're talking about," Kakuzu growled, thinking of Sasori as he'd appeared to him earlier. Sasori had gone to Heaven. What did this bitch know about him? About any of them?

The locket under Kakuzu's shirt began to vibrate and hum, and Kakuzu inhaled sharply. The Kyuubi was close. He could feel it.

"Let me go before the Jinchuuriki gets here. He's going to take it, don't let him."

"Take what?" Sakura asked. She straightened up as the cell door banged open and Naruto stepped in, looking angry.

"Gaara's outside. He wants to talk to you," Naruto growled. Sakura shifted nervously on her feet.

Kakuzu locked eyes with the Jinchuuriki, and felt as if time had stopped. The locket alone vibrated and heated up, the only living thing in the tiny room. Naruto finally moved, stepping slowly over to Kakuzu. Sakura tugged on Naruto's arms, trying to pull him away. The locket almost moaned, pleading to be touched. Naruto's fingers were inches away from the locket, tucked underneath Kakuzu's shirt, when the ground shook violently.

The four standing shinobi staggered on their feet as the floor shifted beneath them. Time sped back up, the locket grew cold as Sakura finally wrenched Naruto away from Kakuzu, and the Hokage ran out of the cell, panting. Sakura hesitated at Kakuzu's side.

"Go see what that was!" Sakura yelled at the Anbu, and they bowed and ran out of the cell, leaving Sakura alone with Kakuzu.

"I don't know why…but I believe you," Sakura whispered, eyeing the lump in Kakuzu's shirt, where the locket was pressed against him.

Kakuzu looked up to the ceiling and smiled. He didn't know what was going on outside, but those loud bangs and earth quakes reminded him forcibly of a certain missing Rock nin.

"Here, sit up," Sakura instructed, and Kakuzu did as she said. She fumbled with some keys and the shackles fell off.

Kakuzu brought his arms forward, rubbing his raw wrists. Sakura backed away from Kakuzu, watching him warily. The older shinobi stood up and stretched, rotating his sore shoulder. He smiled slightly at Sakura, giving a wordless thank you, and ran out of the cell.

He wasn't sure where to go, but the ground seemed to angle upwards slightly, and up meant an exit. Kakuzu reached a door at the end of the corridor. And heard laughter. Kakuzu was about to turn the knob when he heard a low, throaty voice say "There's no point…they'll get you in the end…"

"Madara." It was a statement, not a question.

"Oooh, is that Kakuzu-kun?" Madara asked.

Kakuzu followed the direction of the voice to a thick metal door to his left, a tiny window set in it. A face, old and gnarled, the left side badly scarred, peered out of the glass.

"You've aged," Kakuzu said into the door. Madara laughed again, his breath fogging up the glass, distorting his haggard face.

"So good to see you! Let me out, will you?" Madara pleaded, bringing a claw-like hand to the glass, wiping the fog away.

"Why should I? Stay here, rot for another hundred years," Kakuzu growled, walking away.

"NO! Kakuzu! We…I was going to make you filthy rich, we'd rule the world, you and I!"

Kakuzu stopped and glared at his feet. The pendant kept a steady, warming hum. He exhaled slowly.

"There was only one person in your plans. Only one. The rest of us were pawns. Expendable. Look at what you've done to all of us. Most of us died for you. Konan…Konan's alone. Hidan…in pieces. Me…well, I half hoped you would have found my body and given it a proper burial. We were friends once, Madara. _Friends_. Or so I thought."

"I am your friend, Kakuzu-kun! We both let greed get the best of us….but I am still your friend! Please, _please_ help your friend_; let me out of this hole_!"

Kakuzu shook his head, face almost sad.

"A hundred years ago, I may have helped you. I would have given my life for you. But not now. I want you to sit there and think about what you've done to us. To the world. And where it's gotten you."

Kakuzu took those last steps towards the door and Madara began to scream.

"NOOOOOO! LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT! LET ME OOOOUT!"

Rage built up inside Kakuzu. He wanted to run back there, wrench the door from its hinges and silence that fucking mouth forever. But just as he turned on his heel, there was another bang and a voice Kakuzu hadn't heard in years echoed in the corridor.

"Long time no see, un!"


	5. Miracles Are a Bang

A/N: I'm sort of nervous about this chapter…I hope it's believable, at least a little! Please, review, tell me what you think of it!

**To Hell and Back**

**-xXx-**

**Chapter 5: Miracles are a Bang **

"Deidara?!"

"Un! Now come _on_!" Deidara said, thrusting his middle finger in the air at Madara and then grabbing Kakuzu's hand, pulling him up the stairs.

They ran down another corridor, turned a sharp corner, and then jumped out of a massive hole in the stone wall. Kakuzu grunted as he landed on soft grass. Deidara was light on his feet. He had never been much of a physical fighter, yet he was pulling Kakuzu along as if he were a rag doll.

Kakuzu felt a tug in his gut and knew the Kyuubi brat must be nearby. Sure enough, he heard Naruto's growling voice.

"OOY! GET BACK HERE!" Naruto yelled.

Kakuzu felt an unbelievable surge of chakra. Deidara smirked and ran faster. Kakuzu could barely keep up. He felt his feet leave the ground and looked down. Something feathery brushed his face. Deidara was sprouting wings. _Angel_ wings.

"D-Deidara? What the hell?"

"All artists go to Heaven, un," Deidara said with a laugh.

The wings were composed of translucent feathers, the color hard to determine. They had a pearly, iridescent sheen to them. Deidara wrapped his arms around Kakuzu's waist.

"Hold on, old man, un!"

Kakuzu sucked in air sharply through his nose as Deidara took to the air. They flew up into the canopy of the nearby forest. Deidara and Kakuzu landed on a branch hundreds of feet up in the air and the Iwa nin's ephemeral wings faded.

Deidara pointed at Kakuzu and frowned.

"You're so damned tall, un. Bend down," Deidara instructed, but tugged Kakuzu's hair before the old nin could move and forced Kakuzu to lean in. The blond pressed the tip of his finger to Kakuzu's forehead. A cold, tingly feeling spread from the top of Kakuzu's head down to his fingers and toes.

"There. You'll be hard to see for a bit, un."

Kakuzu straightened.

"Deidara…"

"Sh, they can still hear you, un," Deidara said, jerking his head downwards. Kakuzu squatted and looked through the tangles of branches to the ground. At the roots of the massive tree, he could spot the blond head of Naruto, as well as others. One had red hair, and for a minute, Kakuzu thought it might be Sasori.

"He had a bijuu in him once, un," Deidara said, "but we drew it out. Remember? He was possessed by the Ichibi."

"Aah, I remember him," Kakuzu murmured, nodding slowly, "Sabaku no Gaara. I see the gourd on his back."

"Un. But he's not the one we have to worry about. It's that _other_ one."

The locket grew heavy, weighing down Kakuzu's neck. His head bowed.

"That damned locket! Let me see it, un," Deidara insisted. When he reached for it, Kakuzu batted his hand away.

"NO! No…I don't know what it'll do if you touch it!" Kakuzu hissed.

Deidara's eyes widened and he slapped his hand over Kakuzu's mouth.

"SSSH! You are so thick headed! They might hear you, yelling like that, un!"

Kakuzu jerked his head away. The mouth on Deidara's palm opened and a tongue lolled out. Kakuzu glared at it.

"I see not even being dead could cure you of those," Kakuzu said quietly, keeping his voice down. The nins underfoot headed deeper into the woods, still searching, though Naruto trailed behind. He could no doubt sense the locket.

"Hey, I like them, un! What would Deidara be without his four mouths?" Deidara said indignantly.

"Normal."

"Psh, normal is overrated, un! Oh…_damn_…I wish I could stay longer," Deidara sighed. He was starting to turn transparent, just as Sasori had.

"Danna warned me not to use up so much chakra, un."

"Why do you disappear so quickly?" Kakuzu asked, keeping his eyes on the ground. Naruto had stepped away with his friends. Deidara hesitated for a moment, eyeing the ground apprehensively.

"Well, I don't belong here. Neither do you, for that matter. That locket is pretty powerful, to keep you physical so long, un."

"Yeah…" Kakuzu murmured, squeezing it in his palm.

"Hey, I think they're far enough away, un. You should be able to get back to that hole…"

Kakuzu searched the immediate area for any signs of the Konoha nins. He squinted into the distance. He felt a strong chakra signature a good mile away.

"There's something going on with that Jinchuuriki kid."

"It's the Kyuubi. Bijuu are from Hell. It's only natural they'd be drawn to Hell water, un."

Kakuzu rolled his eyes.

"So this locket attracts bijuu. Great. And we never got the Hachibi either."

"Nope. And I fear that one may be close. You should go, Kakuzu, un. Hidan needs you."

"Heh…Hidan. Why am I so compelled to save him, I wonder?" Kakuzu said. Deidara gave Kakuzu a sly smile.

"What's with the look?"

"Oh, nothing. Just go rescue your damsel in distress, un."

"Hn," Kakuzu uttered, hopping down to the forest floor. He landed with a soft grunt.

Kakuzu glanced up in time to see a twinkling light race towards the sun, and then dashed through the forest, weaving in between trees. Hidan was still helpless, stuck down in a pit. If Kakuzu did indeed have Heaven on his side, there wouldn't be a welcoming party waiting for him. Though, the phrase 'the Lord works in mysterious ways' surfaced in his mind, and he felt uneasy. Kakuzu ran faster.

**-xXx-**

As soon as Kakuzu was within sight of the pit (Banshee Pit), he heard a woman shout "DAI KAMAITACHI!" and the old nin leapt out of the way as a slicing wind reduced the tree he was just leaping from into thousands of splinters.

Kakuzu kicked off from another tree seconds before it was slashed to pieces as well.

So much for his miracle.

"Ch-Chouji! Don't! Get out of the way!" the woman screamed.

"But moooom!"

"Grab your sisters and go back to the house!"

Kakuzu took the opportunity during the domestic argument to creep down closer. Temari slashed her fan once more. Kakuzu dodged, edging closer to the pit. Another slicing whirlwind.

'_I need that miracle, Deidara,'_ Kakuzu thought.

"You called, un?" a voice asked right behind him. Kakuzu didn't turn around. He had to keep his eyes on the kunoichi in front of him.

"Distract her," Kakuzu growled and ran towards the pit, towards Hidan.

Deidara cracked his knuckles and summoned a mound of clay. He set his hands working on it and formed a small raccoon. He dropped the bomb a safe distance away from Temari and her children, but the explosion was enough to shake the ground and knock all three kids off their feet.

The brief distraction worked. Temari rushed to get the small ones out of the line of fire. Kakuzu ran over to the hole and peered down.

"Hidan?"

"Uuuugh," a voice moaned from below.

Kakuzu detached his forearms and sent them down. He felt around for Hidan, and then grasped the priest under the armpits and tugged. Hidan was terribly light. Once his partner was above ground, Kakuzu set Hidan over his shoulder. There was another blast and a delightful laugh. Kakuzu darted under the shadows of the trees, fleeing as Temari struggled to make sense of the invisible explosions.

With a flurry of angel wings, Deidara disappeared. A single iridescent feather drifted over to Kakuzu as he retreated and stuck into Hidan's hair. He groaned again. Kakuzu thanked God under his breath. Hidan uttered something. It might have been 'Jashin, bastard,' but Kakuzu wasn't sure.

Kakuzu ran for hours. He felt like he was a fox, a pack of wild dogs hot on his heels. When the moon hung high in the sky, a pearly sickle against a backdrop of indigo, Kakuzu collapsed onto the ground, laying Hidan down beside him. The priest inhaled deeply and let it out in a long, drawn out breath. Kakuzu studied Hidan's face. It was still filthy, age old blood encrusted at the corners of Hidan's lips.

"K-Kuzuuu," Hidan whispered, opening his eyes. They were still bloodshot, his pupils dilated so that his eyes looked black.

Kakuzu said nothing as he walked away. He knelt down by the stream and slipped off his sash. He stuck it in the water and got it dripping wet, then returned to Hidan's side. He prodded Hidan's lips apart.

"Drink," Kakuzu instructed and squeezed the rag, a gush of water raining down on Hidan's tongue.

Hidan coughed and hacked, but managed to swallow some of the water. He suddenly flung an arm out, squeezing Kakuzu's shirt, his fingertips brushing against the bulge where the locket lay hid.

"W-water," Hidan gasped.

"Not _that_ kind. Not for you," Kakuzu said, prying Hidan's bony hand off of him. He forced the priest's hand onto his own chest. Kakuzu laid his hand on top, feeling the rapid pounding of his heart. It fluttered like bird's wings.

Hidan closed his eyes and his heartbeat slowed, steadying. Kakuzu removed his hand, satisfied, and watched Hidan sleep.

**-xXx-**

At daybreak, Kakuzu was busily working at a small fire, cooking something in a hollowed out turtle shell. The missing Falls nin had chanced by the turtles while washing up in the water. He couldn't pass up such an easy kill. God knows Hidan needed the nourishment. When the meager soup was ready, Kakuzu set down the stick he'd been using to stir the meal and grabbed hold of the priest's hair. He yanked Hidan up into a sitting position. The priest blinked, furious.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?"

"Eat your soup before it gets cold," Kakuzu ordered, thrusting the steaming bowl into Hidan's hands. Some of the hot liquid spilled and Hidan yelped, spouting a string of curses.

"You sound much better," Kakuzu observed, sipping at the scalding hot soup.

Hidan glared, wiping his hands on his lap. He sniffed the bowl and pulled a face.

"What'd you put in it? Rocks?"

Kakuzu swallowed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Turtle meat, salt, water…and chives."

"Urgh, I'm not eating this shit."

Hidan tipped his bowl, spilling the contents onto the grass. Kakuzu caught the priest by the wrist, squeezing hard enough to break bones.

"Ow, fuck, dude!"

Kakuzu pressed his bowl against Hidan's lips.

"Eat it. You need to put some meat on your bones."

Kakuzu and Hidan glared over the bowl, pink eyes staring defiantly into green. Hidan finally blinked and rolled his eyes.

"Fine, you bastard!" Hidan sighed, opening his mouth.

The older man tipped the bowl. Hidan's Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he drank. The broth dribbled down his jaw and neck, and Kakuzu drew the bowl away. He set the shell on the grass and took his damp rag. He began to wipe the soup off of Hidan's skin. When he rubbed the cloth down Hidan's chest, the priest gasped and both men stiffened.

Hidan narrowed his eyes and snatched the rag out of Kakuzu's grasp.

"I can do it myself, _mother_," Hidan slurred, wiping away the broth that had trickled down his belly.

Kakuzu watched in silence. Every single one of Hidan's ribs jutted out from the skin. His belly was concave, his bare arms mere sticks. His body was a patchwork quilt of black stitches and pale, luminous fabric. Hidan wasn't so different in appearance than Kakuzu, though quite a bit smaller. The seams on Hidan were nearly clean now, he was dirty and far too thin, but the old missing Falls nin surmised that in a couple of days, Hidan would be good as new.

Right as rain.

"Argh, fuck!" Hidan snarled as cold, wet drops began to fall on their heads. Kakuzu glanced up to see gray clouds rolling in. Thunder rumbled.

"It's only rain, Hidan," Kakuzu said, knowing exactly what Hidan would say.

"Oh yeah, well, you're not half naked! Pneumonia is not a fucking good time, you know!"

"Hidan, look," Kakuzu uttered, standing up and raising his arms to the heavens as if in praise, "it stopped."

"Already? Jashin-sama, thank you!" Hidan said, laughing and also getting to his feet. He pressed his right hand to his chest, grasping for his rosary, but met only bare skin. Hidan's eyes widened.

"My…my rosary…Kakuzu!" Hidan yelled, pointing a finger accusingly at the missing Falls nin.

"If you sold it, I'm going to eviscerate you!"

"I didn't sell it, dumb ass. It must still be in Kono…" Kakuzu paused as an idea hit him. Hidan raised his eyebrows, waiting for an answer.

"I think Konan has it. Your scythe too."

"Konan?" Hidan echoed, confused.

"Yeah. We're heading to Hidden Rain now. Two days' time you'll have your weapons back."

The weather kept Hidan in a foul mood. It would clear up, the mixture of sun and high humidity making the ex Akatsuki members sweat. Then, when they were nearly dry, the clouds would roll back in and dump heavy torrents of water on them once again.

Kakuzu kept to uninhabited areas, following a small brook, which twisted and turned through the dense forest. When they wandered into Rain country, however, Kakuzu led Hidan back out onto the road. Zetsu's Woods were far more dangerous than the prospect of being recognized by the locals. Even with a Jinchuuriki on their tail.

By the time the two travelers reached the gates of Hidden Rain, both men were dirty, tired and extremely bad tempered. Kakuzu ignored the gawking nins as they headed down the main street, seeking out Konan's house. Hidan hugged himself tightly, looking subconscious.

"I think it's a left down here," Kakuzu murmured to himself, stopping to read a street sign.

"Are you looking for something?" a bearded shinobi inquired. Kakuzu considered him for a moment. Hidan snorted, rolling his eyes.

"What's it look like, dumb fuck?"

"Hidan, _quiet_," Kakuzu growled and turned to address the shinobi.

"Does this street lead to the Amekage's residence?"

"Yeah, but she's not…"

Kakuzu and Hidan were already half way down the small street.

**-xXx-**

"This looks like the place," Kakuzu announced, kicking the door open and heading inside. Hidan followed, his eyes taking in the scuffed wooden floor, the unadorned living room, the long oval dining table topped with a bouquet of wilting lilies.

"It suits her," Hidan said simply, wiping his soiled feet on the rug and stepping onto the floor.

Kakuzu kicked off his sandals and padded over to the table. He pulled a chair out and sat down.

"I'm exhausted," Kakuzu sighed, resting his head on his hand.

"I'm taking a shower. If Blue shows up, ask her if she'll fix us some real grub."

Kakuzu chuckled as Hidan stalked away in search of a bathroom.

Blue. Most of the Akatsuki had called Konan that, since they didn't know her name. True, Kisame was bluer, but there was something about her sad eyes, her sorrowful demeanor.

There were raised voices and scuffling feet. Konan burst into the room, paper fluttering about her like snow, the bearded Rain nin at her heels.

"Don't worry, he's a friend," Konan assured her subordinate, dismissing him.

Konan pushed the door to close it, but it was hanging off of one hinge. It bounced off the door frame.

"You're going to pay for that."

"I will."

Konan took off her heels and strode gracefully over to the table. She leaned against it, sighing. Pipes clunked and hissed above their heads. Konan cocked her head and looked up.

"Water's running."

"Hidan's washing up. I can…pay for that too, if you want."

Konan placed a hand on Kakuzu's shoulder.

"No, no that's alright."

The Amekage pushed away from the table, heading for the kitchen.

"I'll make you some lunch."

"Hn."

Kakuzu hunched forward, elbows on the table. He slid his hand under his shirt, squeezing the locket. It was cold, immobile. Pining for the Kyuubi. Kakuzu felt his eyelids grow heavy and he rested his head on the table. He fell asleep listening to the clink and clang of pots as Konan bustled in the kitchen.

**-xXx-**

"Hey! I said the bath's free," Hidan was saying. A hand shook Kakuzu awake. He straightened with a snort.

"Wha?"

"You smell like shit. I'll lose my lunch if I have to sit next to you."

The priest tugged on a strand of Kakuzu's hair.

"Urgh. You're head's full of grease. And what's this? A twig?"

"Piss off," Kakuzu growled, rising out of his chair.

Konan entered, carrying a large pot. She saw Hidan and dropped it onto the table, upsetting the vase of flowers.

"H-Hidan!" Konan gasped, setting the vase upright.

"Hey, Blue. I nicked some clothes, hope you don't mind."

"No, not at all! Hidan, I'm…I'm really glad to see you again."

Hidan looked confused.

"Yeah, okay," Hidan replied, rolling his eyes.

"No, I really am! It's been so long…I thought you were dead!"

"Dead? I'm immortal. That means 'not mortal.' As in, I can't die."

"Everyone has the ability to die," Kakuzu said, nodding thanks as Konan filled his cup with sake.

"I know you always said you were immortal…Hidan, oh God, I'm so sorry we didn't come get you."

Hidan gulped down his own drink.

"Yeah, well…didn't think Akatsuki gave a fuck anyway."

"Well, most of Akatsuki actually were concerned, but…"

"Fucking Leader," Hidan growled, filling his cup back up and downing it.

Konan's face fell, frowning at her tea. Kakuzu cleared his throat.

"Hidan…there's a lot you don't know about Akatsuki. Pein…" here, Kakuzu paused, gauging Konan's reaction, before plowing on, "Pein wasn't the real leader. It was Madara Uchiha."

"Who the fuck's Madara?" Hidan asked, shoveling rice into his mouth and swallowing audibly.

"Tobi."

"Tobi? Fucking _Tobi_?"

"Yeah…"

"Any other revelations you'd like to tell me?" Hidan asked, staring from Kakuzu to Konan.

The kunoichi and the old man exchanged an anxious look. Kakuzu grasped the pendant and nodded.

"I'll tell you the whole story, if you answer whatever questions I ask you later."

"Psh. Sure, whatever, old fuck."

**-xXx-**

"All artists go to Heaven" is from my dear Emmy-danna (AKA xcupidxstuntx). I think I was inspired by Harry Potter for the…jutsu? That Deidara did to Kakuzu, to make it hard for people to see him. Not exactly invisible…I think there was a camouflaging spell or whatever…never mind, I'm a dork!


	6. Let Go

**To Hell and Back**

**-xXx-**

**Chapter 6: Let Go  
**

"Eight years?" Hidan yelled, slamming his hands onto the table, upsetting the vase again.

"Yeah. And keep your voice down, they'll think we're fighting."

"Who?"

"Her guards."

Hidan gave a quelling look.

"Tch."

"Hidan, I have some questions," Kakuzu began slowly, glancing uneasily at Konan. She got to her feet, gathering up the dirty dishes.

"You two go upstairs. There's only one guest bedroom though, I'm afraid."

"That's fine," Kakuzu said, heading for the stairs. He gave Hidan a look, urging him to follow.

Konan walked towards the kitchen with her stack of empty bowls and stopped at the doorway.

"But if you'd like separate rooms, you could have mine…"

"NO, Konan. It's _fine_," Kakuzu insisted. Konan nodded and left for the kitchen.

"I'm getting the bed," Hidan said automatically.

"No, you can sleep on the floor, my back's killing me," Kakuzu said in a low growl.

"Fuck you, you weren't in a fucking hole for eight years!"

"No, I spent eight years getting chased by man eating beasts and swimming in a flaming river."

"What…the _fuck_…are you talking about?"

"You swear too damned much," Kakuzu growled.

The two bickered all the way up the stairs. Kakuzu found three rooms, one of which was the bathroom. It was still steamy from their baths earlier. To the right of that was a locked door. Konan's room, presumably. That only left one other room. Kakuzu and Hidan entered the cramped space and looked around. It was plain and simple: a twin bed under the window, a dusty desk against the opposite wall, a chair with a broken leg, a threadbare rug.

Hidan sat on the bed, bouncing slightly to test its softness.

"Fucking springs will probably stab me in the back as soon as I lay down."

"You don't have to worry about death by bed springs, dumb ass," Kakuzu growled, plucking one of the feather down pillows off the bed and tossing it onto the rug, "because you're sleeping on the floor."

"Fuck you, I always get the bed!"

"Not this time."

"Then I guess I'll have to just take Blue's room!"

"NO. Don't bother her. She's done too much for us already."

Hidan folded his arms over his chest, smirking.

"I'll answer your questions if you give me the bed."

Kakuzu's eyes glittered dangerously.

"I can beat the answers out of you, if it comes to that."

Hidan flicked Kakuzu off. "Fuck you then!"

"Wrong answer!" Kakuzu snarled, picking Hidan up by his hair and hurling him across the room. The priest landed in a crumpled heap beside the desk. The door shuddered in its frame.

Kakuzu tossed the blanket at Hidan. It landed on the priest's head. He wrenched it off, baring his teeth in anger.

"You're always so fucking pushy!"

"Good to know I'm still my old self, at least when it comes to you," Kakuzu murmured.

"What?" Hidan asked, brow furrowed in confusion.

"Hidan," Kakuzu sighed, sitting on the end of the bed, which creaked and sunk slightly under his weight, "I just need to know one thing."

"Yeah?"

"Did you do some kind of…_ritual_…that connected our souls together?"

Hidan blanched, squeezing the feather pillow he'd had in his lap. Feathers flew out of a rip in the seam.

"What…do you mean?"

No curse words. Kakuzu thought that odd.

"I mean," Kakuzu said, choosing his words carefully, "did you use a curse to make me your Soul Mate?"

"I…_fuck_…" Hidan's eyes were wide, "I didn't know…"

Kakuzu leapt from the bed and had Hidan pressed against the wall, large hands tight around his throat.

"You performed a ritual without knowing what would happen?"

"I WAS FUCKING SCARED, ALRIGHT?!"

Hidan's words hung in the air, buzzing in Kakuzu's head as if he had a bee trapped in his skull. The priest's eyes were huge, staring into Kakuzu's face, mouth slightly open.

"Of being alone?" Kakuzu said quietly. Hidan flinched, turning his head away from the old man.

"Fuck you."

"I _died_, Hidan_. I died_. But I'm stuck in limbo because of you."

Kakuzu loosened his hold on Hidan, but kept him pressed into the wall. Kakuzu exhaled heavily, stirring the loose strands of the priest's silver hair.

"Fuck, I'm sorry, okay? But Jashin…"

"Don't try to blame it on your make believe god."

"But he came to me in my dreams, he told me what to do!" Hidan insisted, his voice cracking. Hidan pushed against Kakuzu's chest, his hand over the missing Falls nin's heart. The priest froze.

_He told me what to do_…Kakuzu thought of the demon, Beza. He'd known about Jashinists, hadn't he? Was there more to this Beza than Kakuzu realized? Kakuzu decided to process that information later. He forced Hidan's head up, staring into those scared pink eyes. Hidan jerked his head away and bit his lip.

"I felt you go…I _felt_ it. I was afraid…that I'd fucked the ritual up…that you'd never come back."

Hidan pressed his head against Kakuzu's chest, his shoulders shuddering. Kakuzu's eyes widened. The pendant hummed and heated up, pulsing in time to Kakuzu's heartbeat. The missing Falls nin heard Hidan's dry sobs. _Crying_?

Kakuzu pushed away from Hidan and sat back down on the bed. It wasn't in his nature to comfort, and so Kakuzu chose instead to ignore Hidan. He lay down, facing the wall. Kakuzu closed his eyes and let Hidan's sobbing lull him to sleep.

**-xXx**-

The missing Falls nin woke long after sunrise. Hidan wasn't there. Kakuzu stepped over the lumpy feather pillow and padded into the bathroom. When he emerged, he heard laughter coming from downstairs. Kakuzu followed it to find Hidan and Konan sitting at the dining table. When the old missing Falls nin approached, both of them turned. Hidan's smile died on his face and he swiveled in his chair.

"What's so damned funny?" Kakuzu asked gruffly, sitting opposite Konan and pouring himself some tea from a kettle set on the table.

"Just reminiscing," Konan said, brushing her bangs out of her eyes.

"It's not like you to sleep in so late."

"The trip here took a lot out of me," Kakuzu explained, sipping at the scalding hot tea.

"I could make you some breakfast, if you want," Konan offered, getting to her feet.

"No," Kakuzu said, holding out a hand, "no, I can get it."

"Fuck no. If you eat his cooking, you'll get food poisoning."

Konan giggled behind her hand as Kakuzu stalked into the kitchen, grumbling about ungrateful idiots.

"So…" Konan began once Kakuzu was out of earshot, "do you really think you could do it?"

"Fuck yeah. Communicating with the dead is easy. Getting them to come back, however…" Hidan trailed off, glancing towards the kitchen.

"But you did do it," Konan said, taking Hidan's hand. He tried to pull away and she held on tighter, squeezing.

"Please, please, if you can just let me talk to him…one last time…" Konan whispered. Something wet fell on Hidan's hand and he saw tears streaming down Konan's cheeks.

"Shit, Blue. I'll…I'll do it."

"Thank you," Konan said, wiping at her eyes.

"But I need a sacrifice," Hidan said slowly. Konan's face fell.

"Oh…oh, well I don't want you to kill anyone just for that…"

"Naw, for a quick chat, I can just use a chicken."

"I…I don't know…"

"Come on, Blue, it's just a fucking bird! We can eat it afterwards, if you want."

Konan burst into laughter.

"What the hell is so funny this time?" Kakuzu asked, walking in with a pot and a plate stacked high with toast. He set the food down and eyed the two with his piercing green eyes.

"Not a damned thing," Hidan grumbled. Konan gave him a look.

"After breakfast, Hidan's going to conduct a séance for me."

"WHAT?" Kakuzu howled.

"Relax, Kakuzu-san. You told me to move on, didn't you? I think talking to Pein…telling him goodbye…to see him one last time...would help me to do that."

Kakuzu sighed and sat down. He grabbed a piece of toast and bit into it.

"I won't stop you, but…meddling with the dead is dangerous."

"I'm the one 'meddling' here. Relax, old man."

"Hn."

**-xXx-**

After the breakfast dishes were cleared away, Konan sought out some candles and other things Hidan said he needed. The priest himself disappeared in the bathroom for some sort of cleansing ritual. Kakuzu was given the task of buying a live chicken from Hidden Rain's market. He procured another mask to hide his stitches and set out.

_Old habits die hard_, Kakuzu thought as he haggled with the merchant. The old codger was stubborn, but in the end, Kakuzu got the price he wanted. As he headed back with the chicken thrashing madly in its wire cage, Kakuzu wondered if this 'séance' would even work. He'd never seen one performed, and didn't know much about it. And he'd certainly never thought Hidan could or would use a chicken as a sacrifice, in place of a human being.

Kakuzu entered the house, feeling a pang of regret at the sight of the broken door. He vowed to fix it once this séance was over. The old missing Falls nin set the chicken down on the floor. The house was dark, all the lights put out. He could faintly hear a voice chanting upstairs. Hidan.

"We're having the séance in my bedroom," Konan said from the stairs, leaning down to see Kakuzu.

"Right," Kakuzu said, slipping off his sandals and picking up the chicken cage. He followed Konan. Her skirt disappeared through a doorway and Kakuzu trailed after her.

"Jashin-sama, please lend me your power," Hidan was murmuring, holding his rosary tightly in his hand. Blood seeped out under his fingers. Kakuzu saw the rosary and frowned.

"When did you…"

"Zetsu," Konan cut in, and wouldn't say any more.

Kakuzu's gaze wandered about Konan's small room. It was larger than the guest room, but not by much. A Persian rug was rolled up and hastily pushed against the bed, leaving an open area on the bare floor. Kakuzu walked over to the only wall that wasn't plain. It was dotted with framed photographs, some of various Akatsuki, but most were of Konan's family. One, badly damaged yet framed with ornate gold, caught his eye. It was Konan and Pein as teenagers. The photograph looked like it'd caught Konan just as she laughed; Pein was smirking. He'd most likely told a joke. Kakuzu smiled. Konan followed his gaze and blushed.

"Hey, I need those fucking candles!" Hidan said suddenly. Konan jumped.

While Konan lit the candles and set them in a circle, as instructed, Hidan pulled the chicken out of its cage by its legs. Kakuzu watched as Hidan took out a kunai and pinned the chicken onto the hard wood floor. It flapped its wings furiously. Hidan's eyes were cold, his lips uttering a soundless prayer as he sliced cleanly through the chicken's neck, severing it from its body. The bird wriggled under his hands, blood spurting from the neck, and it went still, its claws curling.

"Please, Jashin-sama, accept this humble sacrifice, and grant me your powers."

Hidan picked up the chicken's body, hung it upside down and walked in a circle, solidifying the vague pattern made by the candles with the bird's blood. He drew the triangle in the center and tossed the bird aside like a bag of trash.

_No respect for the dead,_ Kakuzu thought, fighting the urge to laugh.

"The mark has been made. Querent, please step forth."

Konan approached the circle, her hands clasped in front of her, eyes wide, nervous.

"Take my hand," Hidan whispered. Konan took it, exhaling a shaky breath. Hidan turned to Kakuzu.

"You too, old man."

Without a word, Kakuzu clasped Hidan's bloody hand.

"Okay, once you and Konan hold hands, it will close the circle. Do _not_ let go until I say so. No matter what happens," Hidan said.

"Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?" Kakuzu asked Konan, almost pleadingly. Konan took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She nodded.

Without another word, Konan snaked her small hand in Kakuzu's and he squeezed it in reassurance. Unlike him, even he knew it, but it couldn't be helped. The pendant began to hum again, fluttering like hummingbird wings against his skin. Warmth spread throughout his body. He looked to Konan to see if she could feel it. She gave no sign that she had, her eyes downcast, focusing on the Mark set in blood upon the floor.

The room grew dark. The candle flames danced wildly like the flapping of the chicken's wings as it died. Hidan began to chant. Some of it was in English, but there were phrases…whole strings of words that Kakuzu didn't recognize. It was something much older than simple language. It was the Tongue of Hell.

"Come forth, departed Soul, Come out of thy slumber and speak for us."

The pendant was vibrating so fast it was whistling, the soft warmth now intensifying, growing so hot it burned. Kakuzu felt a sharp tug, as if a hook had shot out of the center of the Mark and into his navel. He glanced nervously at Konan. Her eyes were wide, her knuckles white. Hidan was almost smiling, his eyes rolled into the back of his head, gleaming moon white in the semi-dark of the room.

"Oh Lord Jashin, we call out the Soul of Pein, Ame no Nagato that was. Let him come forth!"

The candles blew out as if an unseen ghost breathed upon them. The sharp tug to their navels grew stronger. And out of the center of the circle came a white fog. At first it looked like the wispy smoke of a cigarette, but it grew, forming a shape, the figure of a man. Ringed eyes opened in the cloudy face. Konan gasped.

"Pein!"

_"…Konan,"_ the spirit said, its voice faint as if it were whispering from across a vast field.

"Pein! Oh God…" Konan broke into sobs. Her hands loosened and she almost let go until Kakuzu and Hidan squeezed harder.

"Don't break the circle!" Kakuzu hissed.

"I love you!" Konan cried desperately as Pein's body came into sharper focus, the smoke solidifying into a proper body.

Pein only smiled, reaching out and plucking the flower from her hair. He put it against his lips and looked at her, Rinnegan eyes sparkling.

_"…you too…" _Pein whispered, his voice coming and going like the wind.

"Please let me touch him! Please, let me go!" Konan screamed, struggling in the grasp of the two men sharing the circle.

Hidan was still in a trance-like state, so Kakuzu had to calm her down, before she did something rash.

"We can't. Konan, _talk_ to him. That will have to be enough."

Tears fell freely from Konan's eyes, running down her cheeks and her chin.

"…_love you…please…don't cry…"_ Pein murmured and set the flower carefully back in Konan's hair.

He cocked his head to the side, admiring his work, and ran a finger down her cheeks, coming away wet with her tears.

"I want to touch you! I want to hold you again!"

"_You…will…but…"_ Pein's eyes widened and he looked behind him. He turned back to Konan, placed his hands on her shoulders.

"_Go…go now! He's coming."_

"_Who_?" Kakuzu asked sharply. Pein glanced at Kakuzu, pointing at him, or more accurately, at his chest, where the locket lay.

"_He's coming…"_ Pein repeated, turning to Konan. His face fell and he leaned in, pressing his lips to Konan's. Kakuzu felt like he was encroaching on something personal, but he couldn't do any more than turn his head away. He focused on Hidan's face instead.

The priest was still staring blankly into his skull, his mouth gaping. His rosary was glowing almost as brightly as the locket beneath Kakuzu's shirt.

"Please don't go! Don't leave me alone!" Konan wept.

Kakuzu turned back in time to see Pein smile warmly at Konan, tears of his own glistening on his face.

_"We'll meet again…"_ Pein whispered, and transformed back into smoke. The cloudy vapor returned to the floor as if sucked in. Kakuzu started to release Konan's hand when he heard a low, gravelly voice in his ear.

"Give the Kyuubi the locket…"

Kakuzu looked to Hidan and paled. It was no longer Hidan. Like in his dream while sitting in the cell in Konoha, Hidan's face was melting, changing into the face of the demon.

The missing Falls nin let go of Konan's hand and she fell, Hidan still grasping her right. She tried to yank her hand away but to no avail.

"Let go," Kakuzu commanded. Beza cocked his head and leered.

"Things are moving right along," the demon said. He tightened his hold on Kakuzu's hand. Kakuzu heard Konan scream.

"LET GO!" Kakuzu roared and in the blink of an eye, Beza was gone. Hidan collapsed, his body thudding heavily to the floor.

Konan pressed her injured hand against her chest, lip trembling.

The locket went cold.

'_He's plotting something much bigger than you realize. And you're helping him,_' Sasori had said.

Something big…something to do with the Kyuubi…the locket…and Hidan. It was an elaborate puzzle, and some of the pieces weren't only missing…but transformed…impossible to fit where they were meant to go.

**-xXx-**

Querent is a term used in tarot reading, it's the person with the question, I guess. Hidan's speech is corny, but oh well. And...anything else? Hm...oh, the 'Pein, Ame no Nagato that was' thing kind of is inspired by the Dark Tower series by Stephen King. Also, to explain further than Konan would, Zetsu fetched Hidan's scythe and rosary that he left in the pit and gave the items to Konan. I kind of would like to think he is decent to Konan. :P


	7. Love and Ritual

**To Hell and Back**

**-xXx-**

**Chapter 7: Love and Ritual**

Kakuzu wrapped Konan's hand in gauze and laid her down in the spare bedroom. Hidan was still out of it, mumbling incoherently, drooling. The missing Falls nin had a moment, however fleeting, in which he seriously considered using the Hell Water on the priest, but it passed.

'_No…it isn't time. Not yet.'_

He couldn't kill Hidan now. And he wasn't sure what would happen if he did.

The dead nin dragged Hidan into the bathroom and threw him bodily into the bathtub, hoping cold water would shock Hidan into consciousness. The priest jumped as soon as the water hit, hissing.

"_Fuuuck."_

"Snap out of it, Hidan."

"Fuck, get it _away_ from me," Hidan moaned, flailing an arm and rolling over.

Kakuzu was confused for a moment before he realized that Hidan meant the locket. It had slipped out of his shirt and was dangling down, glowing so bright it turned Hidan's hair gold. Kakuzu straightened up and slipped the locket back into his shirt.

"Sorry," Kakuzu said gruffly.

Hidan started to shake and curled up into a fetal position.

"_Just get it away!"_

Kakuzu turned the cold water off. He attempted to pick Hidan up, but the priest screamed and cringed as if Kakuzu's very touch burned him. So he left Hidan there, soaking wet and shivering with cold, in the tub.

Kakuzu spent the next hour on his hands and knees, scrubbing the chicken blood off of Konan's wooden floor. It was hard, tedious work. The room was hot and stuffy, and soon he was sweating. Kakuzu pulled off his soaked shirt and tossed it. He was nearly finished with the floor when he heard footsteps approaching.

"You didn't have to do that," Konan said. Her voice sounded scratchy, blue eyes red rimmed and puffy. She'd most likely been crying the entire time he was scrubbing.

"You loved him that much…" Kakuzu murmured, frowning.

"Yes, I did."

"And yet, you're not Soul Mates."

"Soul Mates?"

"It must not have anything to do with love after all…" Kakuzu scrubbed the floor hard, gritting his teeth.

'_Fucking Hidan.'_

"Kakuzu, what are you talking about?" Konan asked, kneeling down beside Kakuzu and stopping his hand.

"It's nothing," Kakuzu growled. He squeezed the scrub brush hard, his nails digging into the wooden handle.

Konan watched the wood splinter and placed a hand on Kakuzu's shoulder.

"Kakuzu, what's wrong?"

"_Hidan_! I'm dead! I was supposed to _stay_ dead! But because of his fucking ritual I'm stuck in limbo forever unless I kill him!"

Konan wrapped her arms around Kakuzu from behind, resting her head on the back of Kakuzu's neck. He dropped the brush, eyes widening.

"And why did he do that, do you think?" Konan asked.

'_Because he loves me.'_

Kakuzu didn't speak it aloud, but he didn't have to. Konan pressed her lips to Kakuzu's cheek, and then pulled away from him. The loss of warmth nearly made the old missing Falls nin shiver.

"Hidan may have used a curse to bind you to him, but I think that link was strengthened by his love for you," Konan said with a soft, bitter laugh.

"I'm jealous," Konan whispered as she left the room.

_Hidan…_

Kakuzu held the locket in his hand. He considered taking it off, since Hidan was so afraid of it. But remembering the last time he'd tried to remove it, Kakuzu knew it was pointless. Hidan would just have to put up with the inherently evil artifact. Kakuzu returned to the bathroom. Hidan was still in the tub, curled up into an even tighter ball. Beads of water clung to his pale skin. Kakuzu picked Hidan up. He was a lot heavier now. In only a few days and a handful of meals, Hidan had filled out. The priest looked like his old self again, though his lips were turning blue, his teeth chattering. Kakuzu set Hidan on the toilet.

"Wake up already," Kakuzu growled, slapping Hidan hard on the face.

Hidan's eyes flew open.

"Kakuzu!"

"You're pathetic," Kakuzu snorted, grabbing a towel and padding Hidan dry.

An icy hand covered Kakuzu's and he looked into Hidan's eyes.

'_It really is love…'_

"Hidan."

The priest pulled Kakuzu down and clamped his teeth down hard on Kakuzu's nose.

"Why do you do this to me?" Hidan whispered, scraping his teeth down Kakuzu's cheek and nipping at his lower lip.

"Who taught you how to kiss?" Kakuzu asked and ran his tongue across Hidan's teeth.

Hidan bit down harder, drawing blood. He sucked on the cut. Kakuzu felt heat radiate through his body. His heart beat erratically. It was the strangest kiss he'd ever shared. Tongues and teeth seemed to fight a heated battle. Kakuzu threw Hidan to the floor and their lips collided again, bumping teeth.

Kakuzu's threads snaked out of his mouth, feeling along Hidan's body as he kissed his throat, sucking in the skin. Hidan arched against Kakuzu, hooking his left leg around the missing Falls nin. The priest moaned into Kakuzu's mouth when they kissed again, his hands tracing the stitches criss-crossing along Kakuzu's back. The locket dug into the dead shinobi's chest, pinning Hidan's rosary in between their bodies. The charms, both cursed one way or another, seemed to repel each other. There was a sharp pain as the locket burned like fire on Kakuzu's skin. The missing Falls nin pulled away from Hidan's intoxicating mouth, propping himself up with his hands on either side of the Jashinist's head.

"Kakuzu…" Hidan murmured, his breath hot on Kakuzu's face, "what…?"

"You didn't feel that?"

"I felt something, yeah…" Hidan purred, sliding a hand down in between Kakuzu's legs.

Kakuzu inhaled sharply.

"N-no, that's not what I meant. The pain when our necklaces touched."

"Is that what it was?" Hidan murmured, squeezing.

"Damn it, Hidan, I'm trying to tell you something!" Kakuzu snapped.

"And I'm trying to be nice for once, what the fuck is it?" Hidan retorted angrily, abruptly removing his hand and grasping his rosary.

"_That_," Kakuzu answered, "take it off."

"_What_? Fuck you, I just got it back!"

"Take…it…_off_…" Kakuzu snarled, thrusting his hips into Hidan. The priest hissed, closing his eyes.

"_Fuck_. Fuck, okay!"

Hidan took a deep breath and lifted his head, slipping his necklace off. He laid it carefully on the tile beside him.

"There. Happy?"

"Yeah," Kakuzu said, licking down Hidan's chest. He sunk his teeth into his nipple, making the priest squirm.

"_Fuck!"_ Hidan gasped.

**-xXx-**

Kakuzu couldn't quite remember how they'd gotten to the spare bedroom, or when his clothes had vanished. All that really mattered was Hidan. Hidan, underneath him, all around him, beside him. _With_ him.

All the time they'd been together in life, Kakuzu hated Hidan. Another bittersweet irony of his death was that he realized how much he actually loved him. So many lost opportunities…they'd been partners for two years before Kakuzu died. Two years they could have used to share their love and lust.

"Hidan," Kakuzu breathed against Hidan's lips.

"Hmmm?"

"I don't know what to do…" Kakuzu sighed, trailing a finger down Hidan's bare thigh.

"Fuck me again," Hidan urged, shivering at the soft touch.

"That's not what I meant, you bastard," Kakuzu growled.

"Kakuzu!" Hidan gasped, poking at Kakuzu's arm.

"_Ow_, what?"

Hidan's finger went right through the flesh. Kakuzu winced and slapped Hidan's hand away.

"My body's starting to go," Kakuzu mused. There was no blood from the puncture. It was like his skin was no more than a thin covering, a shell protecting his soul. And it was cracking.

'_Then why did it feel so normal while we were having sex? My skin was fine then…' _Kakuzu thought, remembering the cut on his lip…the scratches on his back and thighs from Hidan's nails.

"Hidan, I didn't want to tell you too much…but I think I need help with this."

Hidan scooted into a sitting position, hugging his knees to his chest. Kakuzu did want to take Hidan again, but he felt as if there was something wrong…like something was going to happen.

"What is it?" Hidan asked.

"You bound me to Earth using a curse that Jashin taught you, correct?"

Hidan nodded.

"Right…I have this theory…but you may not like it."

Kakuzu tried to think. He held the locket in his palm. Hidan narrowed his eyes at it.

"This locket…it contains water from the river Styx. But the gold it's made out of…I'm wondering if it's from Heaven."

"A necklace from Heaven containing water from Hell. That's fucked up," Hidan said with a laugh.

Kakuzu licked his swollen lips. It would make sense if…yeah…it had to be. Beza was more than a mere demon. He was much, much more than that.

"I think I met Jashin," Kakuzu uttered. Hidan's eyes widened, then his face contorted, mouth open in a snarl.

"FUCK YOU! Jashin would never appear to a non believer, and in Hell of all places!"

Hidan swung his legs over the bed and got up but Kakuzu flung out an arm and wrestled him back on it, tying his arms to the bed post with threads.

"No, just listen to me. I know you don't like it, but hear me out. If my theory is correct…Beza is Jashin. And he used you. No_, stop squirming_!" Kakuzu snarled, pinning Hidan with his own body weight.

"FUCK YOU!" Hidan spat before Kakuzu slapped his hand to his mouth.

"Just listen!"

Hidan glared up at Kakuzu, uttering muted curses. Kakuzu talked over them.

"He needed a way to stay connected to Earth. I'm still not clear on what he has to do with the bijuu, but he needs them for some reason. He needs that Jinchuuriki to take the locket and use the water."

Hidan froze. Kakuzu let go of Hidan, but kept his hands tied.

"Jashin…Jashin would never do that. I'm his most faithful! His…his only…"

"Only what, Hidan? A pawn….a tool…that's all."

"No, NO, you're fucking with my head!"

"Hidan," Kakuzu said softly, caressing the side of Hidan's face, "I'm not fucking with you."

"Let's…let's say you're right. So what?"

"He's using both of us for something. I'm not sure what. If we keep the locket away from the Jinchuuriki, he can't accomplish his goal."

Kakuzu kissed Hidan's forehead.

"You know, I thought of just killing you with it. I really did. It would be better for everyone."

Kakuzu released Hidan's arms and the priest grabbed Kakuzu's hand.

"What's it like to die?"

Kakuzu smiled.

"It's not so bad."

"If you killed me, you could go back to Hell. But where would I go?"

The old nin frowned.

"I don't know…" Kakuzu whispered, pulling Hidan into his arms and kissing the top of his head. Hidan's hair was disheveled and smelled like sex and sweat. Kakuzu buried his face in that hair…if only he could just stay like this forever…it didn't matter where he ended up, as long as it was with Hidan.

**-xXx-**

"W-who's there?" Madara whispered harshly in the dark.

A loud creak echoed in the silent prison as the door opened of its own accord. Labored breathing filled the cramped cell. Feet shuffled.

"Answer me!"

"_**Did he tell you where he was going?"**_ someone growled. The voice may have been that of a man or something much more sinister. There was a growling undertone to the voice, almost like two people were speaking at once.

"_Who?"_

Naruto stepped out of the shadows, his eyes gleaming red, pupils narrow slits. His teeth, sharp, were bared, fingers curled into tight fists.

Madara's one eye widened and he burst into laughter.

"Oh…Kyuubi, it's you, isn't it? Coming for the locket?"

"_**Where?"**_ the Kyuubi repeated, its form starting to bubble around Naruto's body.

"I think…yes…yes, Kakuzu mentioned Konan."

"_**Konan…"**_ Kyuubi repeated.

"_**Where is Konan?"**_

"G-guh!" Madara gagged as Naruto picked him up by the throat, digging in his nails.

"_H-Hidden Rain!"_

Naruto dropped Madara to the ground and turned.

"_**The locket is in Hidden Rain…near the King of Hell statue…only a matter of time…"**_ Kyuubi growled.

"_Take me with you!_ _Please_, I know I failed him once, but surely…surely my information is helpful? I could ask his forgiveness! He could restore me to my full power!"

Madara groveled at Naruto's feet. The Kyuubi leered.

"_**You can ask his forgiveness…in Hell."**_

"N-no, that's not what…"

Naruto, acting on the Kyuubi's orders, crushed Madara's throat. He tossed the Uchiha to the cold stone and left the cell. Hidden Rain…he had to get to Hidden Rain…

The sixth Hokage ran through the village, heading for the Gates leading out of Konoha. Kyuubi's aura churned about his body, forming four of the nine tails. The massive chakra woke up many of Konoha's inhabitants. They emerged from their homes, facing the direction he had gone.

As Naruto reached the gates, he slid to a halt. Lee, Neji and Tenten stood in his way.

"Naruto-kun," Lee began, hand held up in front of him, "we can't let you leave the village."

'_**If you don't get rid of them, I'm going to rip off their heads,**_' the Kyuubi growled in Naruto's head.

"If you don't let me go, I'll kill you!" Naruto yelled and pushed past Lee. Lee tried to grab Naruto but he knocked him away with the sheer force of his chakra. Tenten caught Lee and set him back on his feet.

"Neji, what do we do?" Tenten asked, turning to the Hyuuga.

"We can't possibly fight that. But we can't just let him go, either. Let's summon everyone to go get him back. He could hurt someone out there," Neji said, face stern. Tenten nodded.

"I'll get everyone together!" Lee said running back down the street.

Tenten grabbed Neji's hand. The Hyuuga leaned in and kissed her forehead.

"Scared?" Neji whispered in Tenten's hair.

"A little."

**-xXx-**

As Naruto sped through the trees, hell bent on reaching Hidden Rain as soon as possible, Kakuzu, Hidan and Konan were sitting in Konan's garden behind her house. Konan sat on the porch steps, folding paper in her hands. Kakuzu and Hidan lounged in the cool grass, staring up at the sky. A red light beamed down at them. Mars. Not a good omen.

"Jashin's Eye," Hidan whispered, pointing at it.

"Is that what you call it?" Kakuzu said.

"Yeah."

Konan finished her paper frog and set it on the grass. She made a hand seal and it began to hop along. Kakuzu watched it. God, if things had been different. Konan would have been a wonderful mother. He could almost imagine a fat little Konan look-a-like chasing the paper frog across the lawn, tripping and scraping his knee. And Konan rushing to him, kissing it better, changing the child's anguished cries into a cheerful giggle.

"Kakuzu?" Konan asked, disrupting Kakuzu's thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"Did you want me to make you one?"

Kakuzu laughed, shaking his head. His face grew serious however when he saw Konan working on another one.

"Konan, I need you to promise me something," Kakuzu said. Konan stopped folding and turned to him.

"Get married and have kids."

Konan's eyes widened. The half finished origami frog fell through her fingers.

"What the fuck, Kakuzu?" Hidan said.

"N-no…its fine," Konan said quietly, dropping her gaze to her hands. She rubbed her fingers together as if she'd gotten something on them.

There was a shrill, faint scream and all three pricked their ears. The ground shook beneath them. Kakuzu jumped to his feet.

"What was that?"

He turned to Konan, hoping she had a sensible answer, but she stared wide-eyed back at him. She and Hidan also got to their feet. Kakuzu glared up at Mars. Jashin's Eye, Hidan had called it. It seemed to wink back at him.

There was a loud bang akin to an explosion and Kakuzu thought of Deidara.

'_Please, please let it be him.' _

But the bangs continued. A booming roar met their ears.

"What is that?" Konan shrieked, pointing across the grounds.

Far off in the distance, near the cluster of apartments near the village's center, what could only be described as giant tails arched into the sky. They hurled down and smashed the rooftops. People screamed. Konan disappeared in a flutter of paper and flew off towards the attacking monster.

Kakuzu hesitated. He knew it. The locket. The damned locket had drawn it here. Kakuzu counted the tails when they rose back up, reaching towards the sky.

"Eight tails…"

"Fuck!" Hidan yelled as all eight tails struck the ground at once, causing an earthquake that knocked down Konan's fence and shattered the windows of her house.

"Hidan…we need to get out of here," Kakuzu said, grabbing Hidan's wrist.

"Fuck you! We can't leave Konan to fight that thing alone!"

"If we leave, it'll follow us," Kakuzu suggested, but Hidan wrenched his wrist from Kakuzu's grasp.

"No, we go over there first. If Konan gets hurt because of your fucking locket, I'm going to kill you," Hidan snapped.

Kakuzu simply nodded, took Hidan's hand, and the two ran towards the beast.

**-xXx-**

A/N: Oops, the 'Beza is Jashin' theory popped up earlier than I thought. Little Kunai was the only person to mention that that's what she thought, so she gets a cookie! :D Go read her SasoTen story "Eternity," it's really good!

Oh, and Jeien Uuze. What do YOU think about the theory? Hm…is it true…or not? I won't tell! Next chapter…The Hachibi.


	8. The Hachibi

**To Hell and Back**

**-xXx-**

**Chapter 8: The Hachibi**

As women and children fled from the collapsed buildings, shinobi sprung forward. Konan took form and sprouted paper wings, wielding origami weapons. She flew right at the Hachibi, throwing paper shuriken and kunai at the beast and striking it in the face.

The Hachibi flicked out a long forked tongue and opened its mouth wide, hissing. Green tinged drool hung from its gaping jaws in thick, slimy ropes. It shot a stream of water out of its mouth. Konan dodged and it struck a tower behind her. The building's surface melted as if doused with acid.

Kakuzu and Hidan reached the feet of the beast. Hidan gaped up at it.

"What the fuck is it?"

"I think it's a lizard," Kakuzu said, wincing.

The locket burned against his skin and he pulled it out of his shirt. It glowed so bright for a moment that Kakuzu had to shield his eyes. The Hachibi snarled and turned its ugly head, blinking down at the missing Falls nin. Its gold eyes narrowed to slits, pupils shrinking from the locket's light. With a bellowing roar the beast swiped at Kakuzu.

"Shit!" Hidan said, jumping out of the way of the Hachibi's claws.

Kakuzu narrowly dodged, getting scraped by the very point of one of the giant lizard's nails.

"Kakuzu!"

"I'm okay," Kakuzu yelled, feeling his back stinging. If the claws were poisoned, he might be in trouble. But Hidan didn't have to know that.

The priest hopped back at a suitable distance and swung his scythe, slashing through the giant lizard's side. Blood sprayed out of the cut as Hidan ran the three blades through its skin. He swung the weapon around and stabbed the Hachibi again. It reared, tails lashing out, attempting to bowl Hidan over. He leapt straight up into the air, landing lightly on a rooftop.

The beast followed Hidan with its large, bulbous eyes, forked tongue tasting the building he was perched on. The beast hissed and turned its head the other way as Konan sent a flurry of paper throwing stars at it. The Hachibi clawed at the weapons imbedded in its face, howling and spitting.

The blue haired kunoichi kept out of reach of the lizard's claws and whip-like tongue, crafting a flock of origami cranes. She formed a seal and the paper birds dove at the Hachibi, razor sharp beaks honed in on the beast's head. Kakuzu and Hidan watched in awe as the birds pecked out the Hachibi's eyes. Blood gushed from them like morbid geysers, raining down on the shinobi below. Blinded, the beast clawed at its ruined eyes, roaring in pain. It thrashed its tails wildly. The Hachibi's drool mingled with the blood and the very ground started to melt away at its feet.

Carts, discarded bicycles and various shops fell through the widening pit made by the strong acid. If they kept fighting here, Hidden Rain would be reduced to a bottomless pit.

"WE HAVE TO GET THIS THING OUT OF THE VILLAGE _NOW_!" Kakuzu bellowed.

With a grunt, Kakuzu leapt from building to building, landing squarely on the Hachibi's snout.

_"Kakuzu, __what the fuck are you doing_?!" Hidan screamed.

The missing Falls nin ignored Hidan. He swung the locket like a pendulum on the end of its chain, praying to God (not Jashin, not now that he knew who he was) that this would work. The Hachibi raised its claw, ready to strike, and paused. Though it couldn't quite see, the glow emitted a warm, pleasant heat and a faint high pitched hum.

The beast's talons stopped an inch from Kakuzu's body. Its long forked tongue slid out and slid against Kakuzu's side. He gritted his teeth and winced as the coating of saliva burned him. His clothes smoked. Acid ate through his flesh, but somehow, miraculously, he didn't melt.

"Come on, you bastard," Kakuzu growled, hopping down from the Hachibi and running away from it, swinging the locket around so it hung behind him, a lure for the beast. The Hachibi lumbered behind him, tongue flicking out, tasting the air, nudging at Kakuzu's retreating back.

"It's working!" Hidan said, running after the beast as it pulled its hulking body along, tails swinging side to side and bashing into buildings as if they were made of crumpled balls of paper.

"Konan, remember what I said!" Kakuzu yelled at the kunoichi still poised in the air, flapping her paper wings.

The blue haired kunoichi nodded and raised her hand in farewell. It was the last time she ever saw Kakuzu and Hidan alive.

**-xXx-**

'_**Hidden Rain…Hidden Rain**__**…**_' the Kyuubi chanted in its mind, picking up speed. Naruto was no longer aware of anything. He now bore six tails, his body unrecognizable. The Jinchuuriki resembled a miniature demon fox; body a vivid orange, bright and dark as the fires of Hell itself.

Get to the locket, that's all that mattered to him now. Beza was counting on it. He, Kyuubi, was counting on it. Then…then he would be free of the human shell. And Hell would return to the World.

**-xXx-**

"Melted the fucking blades to nothing!" Hidan yelled in anguish as he drew back his scythe, now no more than a rod.

The three sharp blades had completely disintegrated.

"Worry about that later!" Kakuzu roared, his arms extended from his body. He ran in quick circles, his threads wrapping around the Hachibi's scaly feet.

Kakuzu leapt backwards and the threads tightened. Hoping he still had enough chakra control, the missing Falls nin tugged hard. In one fell pull, the threads sliced the giant lizard's legs off. The beast collapsed on itself as its limbs crumpled, lifeless, underneath it.

Blood pooled beneath the beast, and it sunk into the ground as the Hachibi drooled. The acid, earth eating saliva carved out a hollow grave for the monster. The blood filled the pit.

"Drown in your own blood, you fucking scythe eating bastard!" Hidan shouted, throwing rocks at the creature as it struggled to keep its head above the blood.

As its snout went under the surface and bubbles stirred the blood, Kakuzu sighed.

"I'd have to say…that was easier than I thought. I suppose it's true…bijuu are weaker without a host."

"_Easy_? I lost my fucking scythe! You're injured! Konan's village is in ruins! What the fuck do you mean, _easy_?"

"We're both alive, aren't we? So is Konan. That's good enough for me."

Hidan spluttered, but Kakuzu closed the distance between them and stifled the priest's protests with his mouth. Hidan wrapped his arms around Kakuzu and cried out when he touched the slashes in the older nin's back, breaking the kiss.

"Ow, it's burning! Shit, Kakuzu, what if…"

"Shut up, Hidan. My body's crumbling anyway," Kakuzu said, making a fist. His knuckles cracked audibly.

"Sounds like breaking bones," Hidan said hollowly, taking Kakuzu's hand and pulling it up to his face.

"As long as my body holds out until this is all over, I'm fine with it."

Hidan bit down on Kakuzu's finger and the missing nin hissed.

"Ow, it won't last if you bite my damned fingers off!"

"You're far more lovable dead than you were in life," Hidan whispered, running his tongue along the teeth marks.

Kakuzu laughed. It echoed across the plains on the outskirts of Hidden Rain.

"I think you're right…must have left my real self back in Hell."

"No…no that's not it. It's still you, but maybe it's the act of dying? You appreciate life more, now that you're dead?"

Kakuzu kissed Hidan, threads snaking out to explore the priest's mouth. They scratched along the roof of his mouth and Hidan choked.

"Freaky ass tentacles," Hidan growled as Kakuzu withdrew them.

There was a rumbling gurgle behind them. They turned to see the last few bubbles of the Hachibi's breath. The locket went dark and cold against Kakuzu's chest. Hidan sighed, clasping his rosary.

"Now what?"

Kakuzu sat down on the ground with a grunt.

"Let me rest for a minute and think."

Hidan sat down beside Kakuzu, staring at the red lake, stars reflected in its still surface. Hachibi Lake. Maybe it would be a tourist attraction. Konan could sell tickets; build a little museum next to it. Perhaps one day Hidden Rain could outdo Konoha. Hidan snorted with laughter.

"What's so funny?" Kakuzu asked gruffly.

"Come one, come all, to Hachibi Lake!" Hidan yelled, waving his arms for emphasis. He giggled.

Kakuzu smiled, shaking his head.

"Dumb ass…"

Hidan kicked Kakuzu playfully in the knee.

"Don't kick me; I'm old and apt to wearing out."

"You can't play the old and brittle card; you could crush my head with your fucking han…FUCK!"

Hidan's pink eyes bulged, staring behind Kakuzu. The locket burned so hot it made Kakuzu's skin bubble. He slowly turned his head, fearing the worst.

There, perched on a loose boulder, stood the demon fox, seven tails trailing behind it like flames.

"_**The locket… give it to me…"**_ Kyuubi snarled, grinning and showing all of its teeth.

Kakuzu's breath caught in his throat. Shit, he hadn't expected the Jinchuuriki to show up already. Kakuzu and Hidan leapt to their feet. The missing Falls nin pulled the locket out of his shirt. Upon seeing it, the Kyuubi's feral eyes widened. Drool spilled out between its fangs.

"_**To me…"**_ it said, holding out a claw.

Kakuzu took a step forward. Hidan grabbed his arm.

"No, what are you doing?"

"Run back to the village, Hidan."

"NO! Not unless you go with me!"

"Can't."

"_**Give it…to meeee…"**_

"KAKUZU!"

The Kyuubi lunged. Kakuzu pushed Hidan away as he was knocked to his feet. The monster clawed at him with its sharp nails, digging deep into his flesh.

"_**Give it to me!"**_ Kyuubi roared, raising a claw-like hand high and bringing it down on Kakuzu's neck.

Hidan screamed. Blood sprayed into the air. The Kyuubi lowered its head as if to bite Kakuzu, and shook its head, a low, gravelly laugh piercing the night.

_**"I have it! I HAVE IT!"**_

"No, Kakuzu!" Hidan yelled as the Kyuubi climbed off of the fallen man. It let out another cry and galloped away on all fours.

"Fuck," Hidan gasped, tears stinging his eyes as he collapsed beside Kakuzu.

Blood bubbled out of his throat, which was gaping open, revealing the muscle and bone underneath. Kakuzu clutched feebly at it, eyes rolling. Hidan placed his hand over the wound, coming away red with Kakuzu's blood.

"Fuck, fuck, please don't die!"

"I'm…argh…al…already…"

"Don't you fucking try to tell me you're already dead!"

Kakuzu stopped talking. He traced Hidan's lips with his finger; the one Hidan had bitten earlier.

"D-dumb…" Kakuzu choked out.

_"Stop talking, asshole!"_ Hidan shrieked, eyes darting around wildly, seeking out help from anything, anyone. Someone.

Kakuzu raked his fingers in the grass. Hidan buried his face in Kakuzu's chest, shoulders shaking as he sobbed.

"I can't let you leave me now…not now….when I'm so unsure of everything! I love you, fuck, I love you…if you die again, I'm afraid you're going to Heaven this time. But I couldn't possibly go there…not if what you said was true…oh fuck," Hidan gasped, crying harder.

His tears stained Kakuzu's front, hands fisted in his shirt.

"Fuck you for leaving me again! _Fuck you!" _Hidan choked.

"Quit blubbering like a genin girl," Kakuzu growled.

Hidan looked up, eyes red, and gaped. Kakuzu was sitting, nudging Hidan away. Stitches now held closed the gaping wound.

"Did you forget about my bloodline limit, or what?" Kakuzu said, eyes twinkling with amusement.

"Oh, you are a fucking asshole! You let me sit here and cry my fucking eyes out while you laid their sewing your shit up!"

"Well it was sort of hard to talk for a moment."

Hidan glared.

"I…we need to go after that demon."

"What? Why? That thing is way stronger than the bijuu. How could we possibly take the locket away from it?"

"Something bad is going to happen if the Kyuubi uses the locket. Something much worse than what Akatsuki was planning all those years ago."

"Fuck…"

"Just don't lose your rosary. It might be the only weapon we have left," Kakuzu ordered, and made off towards the Jinchuuriki. Hidan followed.

**-xXx-**

Team Gai raced through the forest. It seemed that there had been some sort of bijuu attack on Hidden Rain, and Konoha, fearing Naruto may have been involved, sent out every available nin they could. Team Gai was already in pursuit of Naruto when others set out.

"Faster, you two, faster!" Gai said, spurring on his team.

"If we speed up, we can reach Hidden Rain in a day!" Lee exclaimed brightly.

He was so far ahead of the others all they could see was a green pinprick off in the distance. Neji narrowed his eyes.

"Lee, we're going as fast as we can!" Tenten gasped.

"WHAAAAT? I can't hear you from so far away!" Lee yelled behind him.

Tenten groaned.

"Sensei, we understand the situation, but wearing ourselves out won't help! Right Neji?"

"Hn."

**-xXx-**

Kyuubi sought out the underground cavern where the King of Hell statue was housed. It formed a series of hand seals and splayed its fingers on the ground. The blood of the dead shinobi the Kyuubi had clawed seeped into the soft earth. With a shudder, the rocky ground began to part, opening a doorway. Loose dirt flowed onto the aged stone stairs.

The demon fox squeezed the locket and ran down the steps, its fiery form swallowed by the shadows. Kakuzu and Hidan saw the beast disappear into the ground. When several minutes had passed, Kakuzu stepped out of their cover and approached the steps.

"This is it, Hidan. Breathe in the air while you can. I don't think we're going to leave this cave alive."

"You always were so optimistic before a fight," Hidan sneered.

The priest squeezed his rosary, much like the Kyuubi had done with the locket, and descended into darkness. Kakuzu watched his silver hair disappear, hesitating. He wasn't afraid of dying. But he was afraid of what he might find…

Taking a deep breath, as if preparing to dive under water, Kakuzu followed in Hidan's wake.

The stairs went down far. Kakuzu counted three hundred and forty-seven steps before they hit a landing. Hidan had paused there, muttering under his breath, rosary clasped tight in his hand. Another flight of stairs descended into the inky depths of the underground chasm.

"Hidan, keep going."

The priest seemed to snap out of a trance.

"Y-yeah…"

Hidan started to move again, slowly walking down the stairs. He extended a hand, reaching for Kakuzu's. The missing Falls nin took it, squeezing. Hidan's skin was cold and clammy.

"Scared?"

"Fuck yeah. We're descending into Hell, Kakuzu."

"I've been to Hell. Don't worry."

"This Hell is far, far worse," Hidan whispered.

The stairs wound in a gradual circle, spiraling downwards for nearly a mile. The air grew hot and stuffy, both men panting and breaking out in sweat. As ninja, they could have easily jumped down, to save time, but who knew what was waiting at the bottom?

Finally, Kakuzu and Hidan stepped onto flat, solid ground. Water dripped. Somewhere in the dark, tiny feet scurried across damp stone. Rats.

Suddenly, there was a loud, drawn out moan of pain. Something heavy thudded to the ground. More moaning, accompanied by hissing and growling. The voices of beasts filled the black space and made both men shiver.

"What is that?" Hidan asked. He groped for Kakuzu's hand in the dark and stared into the slightly gleaming green of Kakuzu's eyes.

"Bijuu. We're too late."

"Can they do…whatever it is they have to do…with one of them dead?"

"Not sure. I'd hope not, but it seems unlikely."

Kakuzu and Hidan exchanged a dark look. Hidan closed his eyes and exhaled slowly.

"Ready?" Kakuzu asked.

Hidan nodded. Together, he and Kakuzu walked towards the source of the wailing beasts.

**-xXx-**

A/N: The Hachibi is a comodo dragon. I've read somewhere that their saliva is poisonous or something, so I thought it wasn't too far of a stretch for a giant comodo dragon to have acid for drool. Little Kunai pointed me to a forum that discusses the bijuu and lists what each one may be, but I chose to stick with my own ideas. I'll list the bijuu's animal forms in the next chapter, most likely.

Please review and tell me what you think! Only two chapters left! T.T I don't want it to end!


	9. Demons

**To Hell and Back**

**-xXx-**

**Chapter 9: Demons**

Kakuzu and Hidan could hear something akin to chanting. The bijuu were reciting a spell in an old tongue. Hidan stopped dead, gasping.

"Shit, shit, they're summoning something!"

"What are they saying?" Kakuzu whispered harshly.

Hidan grasped his rosary and closed his eyes. Kakuzu studied his face. Even in the semi-darkness, it was pale, almost glowing.

"The bijuu…they're calling forth two souls…the one we just killed…and something else…"

"Beza," Kakuzu growled.

"Is that what we were really doing, in Akatsuki?" Hidan asked with a look of outrage, "gathering the bijuu…so this fucking demon could show up and rule the world or some shit?"

"Looks that way. I think Madara may have been Beza's puppet all this time. Damn…he basically threw away eighty years of his life…"

"Eighty years, huh? Try devoting yourself to a cult for a hundred. Fucking lies," Hidan spat, ripping off his necklace. The beads spilled off the chain cord and rolled onto the floor. Kakuzu watched the circular pendant as it landed at Hidan's feet. A flash of his strange dream while waiting in the cell came to mind: Beza holding out the beating heart wrapped in Hidan's necklace.

Kakuzu looked up at Hidan, who was biting so hard into his lip that blood was dribbling down his chin, the red appearing black in the dim light.

"Hidan…you believe me?" Kakuzu asked gently, running his finger down the blood and pressing his stained finger to his own lips.

"Yeah, yeah I do. I don't know why the fuck I do, either. Something about you…"

Hidan hugged Kakuzu tightly. Kakuzu rested his chin on Hidan's head.

"I know, nothing makes any sense anymore…nothing. Not even us."

Hidan laughed.

"Ha, just fucking go with the flow, trust your heart, all that shit. The world's ending, might as well have one last fuck before it goes up in flames."

"I really don't want the world to end," Kakuzu whispered, almost sounding scared.

Hidan clutched Kakuzu tighter, running his fingers across the scratches in Kakuzu's back.

"Why not?"

"It needs to roll a little longer…for Konan. For everyone who deserves life. Even for the bastards who took in that Naruto brat."

"You've grown soft, fucker."

"You too," Kakuzu said softly, tilting Hidan's head up and kissing him.

Hidan moaned at the taste of his own blood shared between them. They momentarily forgot that they were standing in the dark with the distant sound of feral growls and demonic chanting. It was just Kakuzu and Hidan, standing in a vacuum that solely belonged to them.

A low, guttural growl rumbled right behind them, and the two broke apart.

"_**The eye…we need the eye…"**_ Kyuubi snarled.

It was a shadow of its former self, but it was still massive. Tall and bulky as an elephant, all nine tails held high, illuminating the walls and the animal bones scattered about the corners of the chamber. And that's what it was. There were pillars carved out of the very rock, reliefs of grotesque scenes of human sacrifice and dark revels.

Hidan and Kakuzu were frozen, unable to move as the Kyuubi's blood red eyes gleamed, piercing through them like a kunai through a paper fan. Hidan saw a statue in the likeness of an angel, holding a reverted cross high in the air with one hand, a chain ending in a mace marked with the eye of Jashin with the other.

This was it. Hell on Earth. As Hidan gaped in awe at the statue, everything he'd believed in crashing down around him, Kyuubi attacked.

Kakuzu screamed, Hidan reached out to him, blood sprayed, black threads whipped into the air like hair caught in a breeze, and the fiery tails of the Kyuubi disappeared, clutching the rosary…

The monster left behind a dying man and a wounded immortal. Yet…without his faith…Hidan wasn't sure if he was even immortal anymore. He struggled to roll on his side so he could see Kakuzu. The missing Falls nin was slashed in several pieces, his torso lying several feet away from his lower half. Hidan dragged himself over to Kakuzu (his own right leg had been badly gashed, the femur snapped cleanly in half). The ex priest wiped blood and hair out of Kakuzu's face.

His eerily green eyes looked cloudy, his mouth, always caught in a sort of grin, gaping.

"H-Hidan…" Kakuzu choked, shuddering.

"Just pull yourself together, right?" Hidan whispered, pressing his lips to Kakuzu's cheek.

"Nggh…I think…I think this is it," Kakuzu gasped. Hidan's eyes widened. He noticed Kakuzu clutching at his chest. He pried Kakuzu's hand away. His heart…

"No!" Hidan cried, pressing his hand against the wound. There was no heart beat. Kakuzu was already dead.

"Fuck, no!"

"…you…" Kakuzu gagged, coughing up blood, and his body seized up for a moment, and went still, eyes staring up without seeing.

"NOOOO!" Hidan shouted, pounding on Kakuzu's chest.

"No, you can't fucking die now! I won't fucking let you!"

Tears pattered Kakuzu's body as Hidan cried, hands shaking, reaching for the missing rosary as if to say a prayer.

"Fuck that," Hidan hissed hysterically, extending his right hand and taking a deep breath.

"I won't let you die first this time," Hidan whispered to Kakuzu, and struck himself in the chest, digging his fingernails into the flesh.

He spat blood, shaking as he plunged his own hand into his body, snapping through ribs, brushing the lungs and enclosing around his own heart.

Please, please let this work…_God_…

Hidan carefully removed his own heart from his body, careful not to damage the valves. He'd seen Kakuzu do the same move so many times…

The priest felt his body start to shut down from the lack of blood pumping through his veins. Hidan blinked his eyes rapidly, willing himself to stay conscious as he plucked out Kakuzu's dead heart. He quickly shoved his own back in. It was beating erratically.

'_Calm the fuck down,'_ Hidan thought at it.

He kept his hand around the heart as he closed his eyes and used touch to place the organ in the right location. Hidan felt shadows encroach on his vision, dulling his senses, as if a black curtain was closing in front of him before his final act was over.

"Live, _God_, please let him live!"

Hidan removed his hand and collapsed on top of Kakuzu. The heart slowed to a steady rhythm, beating in between their bodies like a shared pulse.

"One heart beating for two," Hidan whispered faintly and surrendered to darkness.

**-xXx-**

Beza eyed the Tengu circling the scorched skies overhead warily, gnawing on a bone. When he felt the arrival of a familiar soul, Beza snickered, getting to his feet.

"Aah…how was your stay on Earth?" the demon asked as Kakuzu stalked up to him.

Without a word, Kakuzu struck Beza in the face, knocking the demon into a cliff wall.

"Who are you?" Kakuzu demanded, pulling Beza up by his few wispy strands of hair. He wrapped his fingers tightly around Beza's throat, making the demon gag.

Kakuzu glared into the demon's ugly face and saw the faint mark of Jashin on Beza's smooth cheek. Kakuzu inwardly cursed. If only he'd noticed that before…

"Oh, I have many names," Beza drawled.

"When I return to Earth, I may just call myself Jashin. It has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

"You're not going anywhere," Kakuzu growled, "I'm going to squeeze your neck until your head pops off."

"'fraid not, Stitches," Beza said, laughing.

Kakuzu's eyes widened. He could see Beza's scrawny neck through his hand. He was fading, turning transparent like Deidara and Sasori had.

"Looks like your girlfriend still won't give up on you. I may use him when I take over the world," Beza said with a nod.

Kakuzu released the demon. Beza said something else, Kakuzu could see his cracked lips moving, but all he could hear was a rushing in his head, as if he'd held a conch shell to his ear.

"It's nearly time…" a voice spoke above the noise.

Beza and the wastes of Hell faded into blocks of fuzzy colors. Kakuzu felt the ground open up underneath his feet and his stomach jumped into his throat as he plummeted into nothingness.

Someone was repeating his name, over and over and over again…

Kakuzu opened his eyes. He had expected to see Hidan, or Konan…Deidara, anyone. But not the pink haired girl.

"Kakuzu?" she asked.

"Wha…?"

The girl smiled.

"Oh, good. Hey!" Sakura called, turning to someone beyond Kakuzu's limited field of vision, "he's awake!"

"Get out of my fucking way!" a voice snapped.

Pink hair retreated, and pink eyes appeared, shining with unshed tears.

"Fuck, I…oh _God_, Kakuzu," Hidan nearly moaned, smothering Kakuzu's face with feverish kisses.

"Get off me," Kakuzu growled hoarsely.

"You've been out of it for two fucking days. I only woke up a few hours ago. Lucky this little bitch knows her shit."

"Thanks, I guess," Sakura said darkly.

"We need your opinion," A long haired boy said, his pale purple eyes narrowed at Kakuzu.

"Byakugan," Kakuzu muttered, sitting up. He groaned.

"Not so fast!" Sakura fretted.

"Keep your shirt on, chick, he's fine. Right?" Hidan asked.

"Yeah…" Kakuzu answered, turning back to the Hyuuga.

"What's going on? Did anyone see the Kyuubi?"

Sakura's face fell. Gaara placed his hands on her shoulders, lightly squeezing.

"I can't see what's going on down there. We can…feel it, and hear it, but not even Sharingan could pierce that darkness," Neji said.

"It's awful," Tenten whispered.

"Then he might have already returned," Kakuzu said softly.

"I say we just go down there and crash the fucking party," Hidan announced, squeezing something in his hand and smirking. Kakuzu's eyes widened.

"Is that…?"

"Yeah. The Kyuubi dropped it up here. There's still a little water inside, but I can touch it now. I'm no longer a Jashinist."

"Good," Kakuzu said with a nod, "but it's still dangerous."

"And it's our only hope to end this," Hidan insisted.

A loud, anguished cry, half way between a human wail and a wolf howl carried up from the dark tunnel.

"We have to act now," Kakuzu growled, turning to the others.

"We may have to face all nine bijuu, plus Satan himself down there. Anyone who doesn't want to fight should go back to Hidden Rain."

The shinobi and kunoichi crowded in the chamber looked around at each other. Lee was the first to step forward.

"I'd willingly die in order to protect this world!"

Sakura smiled and nodded.

"I'll fight. For Naruto…for everyone."

Slowly, everyone else stepped forward: Gaara, Neji, Tenten, Shino, Kiba and Akamaru, Shikamaru and Hidan.

"Don't hold anything back," Kakuzu said simply, and he and Hidan led the way down the dark corridor that led to the bijuu lair.

-xXx-

The shinobi broke into a run. The locket in Hidan's hand glowed bright as a torch, lighting their way. It cast strange shadows around them. More crude depictions of satanic ritual adorned the walls and ceiling. Gargoyles flanked the doorways; mouths open in vicious snarls, daring the shinobi to enter.

The snarling of the monsters grew louder, closer as they descended deeper underground. The narrow corridors opened up into a wide chamber. Torches set in brackets high in the walls were scattered at intervals. As one, the ninja stopped. The bijuu's voices had grown quiet.

"W-where are they?" Sakura whispered.

"All around you," a voice hissed, carrying on the air like a cold draft.

The room seemed to burst into blazing light. The King of Hell statue was cast in an orange glow. All nine of its eyes opened, rolling in its sockets. Smoke poured out of the statue's open eyes, each a different color. They formed vague bodies, growing tails.

"Shukaku," Gaara murmured, seeing the form of the Tanuki fall to the ground.

"Aaaaaah, Sabaku no Gaara," it leered, giggling.

Other demons took shape, snickering or growling at the ninja. They were only a third of their original size but their large bodies pressed against the walls of the chamber, crowding it with their multitude of tails. The Kyuubi alone seemed to be missing. There was a soft snicker behind the King of Hell statue, and a man, tall and elegant, stepped forward.

His hair was dark as night, eyes red as blood. For a moment, he looked like an Uchiha, yet he felt inhuman. The man gave off an uneasy feeling; his smile was cold, and his teeth sharp as nails. The sign of Jashin was tattooed on his forehead. With another laugh, he bent down and coal black wings sprouted out of his shoulders. They appeared to be made out of thorns rather than feathers. He sort of drifted off into a corridor branching off of the main chamber, dropping some of the strange dark spines from his wings.

"Fuck, let's go after the bastard!" Hidan screamed. He started to run towards the corridor, following the trail of shed thorns.

"I'm going with you!" Sakura cried, "Naruto could still be alive! I need to get to him!"

Kakuzu and Sakura followed the ex-priest when the Kyuubi emerged from the passage, blocking the way. Hidan slipped past the beast, but Kakuzu and Sakura skidded to a halt. The demon fox bared its fangs, lip curling as it growled, rearing for an attack.

"Hidan!" Kakuzu yelled, hearing his fading footsteps.

Sakura slapped her fist into her palm, and ran at the monster. She struck it so hard it hit the wall, causing debris to rain down on them. Kakuzu started to run towards the corridor and turned back to the young woman.

"Just go!" Sakura cried, grabbing hold of one of the Kyuubi's tails as it lashed them out at her.

She watched Kakuzu retreat and turned her attention back to the Kyuubi. Even in its miniature form, it was immensely powerful. Sakura, however, had trained for years to control Naruto, should his Kyuubi form seep out. The pink haired kunoichi grabbed a firmer hold of the demon fox's tail and snapped it, breaking the bone.

Kyuubi howled in pain and swiped at her with its claws. Sakura dodged the attack and gathered chakra quickly into her hands. When the Kyuubi slashed out at her again, she caught its claw and with a cry she flipped the beast over onto its back, smashing the Nibi in the process.

Shino, who'd been fighting it, turned to Sakura and nodded.

"Let's send these monsters back to Hell!" Sakura yelled.

Lee cheered as he brought his heel down hard on the Sanbi's shell.

"YES!"

Tenten twirled in a graceful spin in the air, sending a shower of deadly weapons down upon the four tailed ox. Black blood splattered the walls of the chamber.

"Urgh, do you have to be so messy about it?" Kiba snapped, flicking a gob of the thick blood off of his arm.

"Kiba, look out!" Tenten screamed as a six giant scorpion tails sped toward him.

Kiba leapt out of the way as they stabbed the ground. The tails wrenched themselves free of the rock, poison dripping from pointed tips.

"Close one," Kiba said, wiping sweat from his brow. Akamaru growled at the six tailed scorpion and snapped at the massive claw swiping at him.

"These bijuu… they're made of pure chakra," Shino said as the five tailed ape he'd been fighting collapsed, its body transforming back into smoke and returning to one of the eyes of the King of Hell statue.

"I see that," Neji said.

"Seems if we weaken them enough, they return to the statue…we just may have a chance of beating them…"

Neji turned to the corridor Hidan and Kakuzu had disappeared through. Now if only they could expel the demon responsible for all this…

**-xXx-**

A/N: I hope this wasn't too confusing. I figure that when Kakuzu comes to, the Konoha nins had pretty much just gotten there. Please don't bash any characters or pairings in your review (that means behave Kellye! XP), and please tell me what you think!


	10. Faith

_Love of mine some day you will die  
But I'll be close behind  
I'll follow you into the dark_

_No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white  
Just our hands clasped so tight  
Waiting for the hint of a spark  
If Heaven and Hell decide  
That they both are satisfied  
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs_

_If there's no one beside you  
When your soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark_

-I Will Follow You into the Dark by Death Cab for Cutie

**-xXx-**

**To Hell and Back**

**Chapter 10: Faith**

**-xXx-**

Kakuzu followed Hidan's frantic breathing and echoing footfalls. He sounded winded. The missing Falls nin had tried calling out to Hidan, to ask him to stop, but Hidan only ran faster.

Who was he running away from?

The corridor ended. It was another chamber, this one larger, the high ceiling supported with massive pillars shaped like spiraling dragons. More torches were lit here, the flames burning in oranges, greens and blues.

Kakuzu took a tentative step forward. He saw Hidan's tall, lithe form hunching over something sprawled on the stones. A man. Kakuzu approached the silver haired priest and placed a hand on his shoulder.

It was the Jinchuuriki, lying in a crumpled heap, eyes rolled into the back of his head. Kakuzu had seen the same thing so many times before. Hidan had as well. It was nothing new to them, yet both of them stopped and bowed their heads in respect. The young man wasn't to blame for the way things had played out. He was yet another victim, a pawn in Beza's grand scale game.

"I kind of feel sorry for him," Hidan sighed, squeezing the gold locket in his hand. He looked up to Kakuzu, who nudged Hidan in the shoulder, urging him to walk.

The two came upon a line of statues, each bearing features of one of the tailed beasts: tanuki, cat, turtle, ox, monkey, scorpion, eagle, dragon, and fox. The Kyuubi statue was in the form of a nude woman bearing the head of a fox, nine tails splayed out like the petals of a grand flower behind her. Standing at the statue's feet was the demon, clad in his new body.

"Heh heh…returned to my proper form…at _last_…" Beza chuckled, turning to look at the gawking priest and the dead shinobi.

"All thanks to you, _dear Stitches_. All thanks to _you_."

Kakuzu turned to Hidan.

"Stay back, I'll handle this."

Hidan burst into laughter and placed his hand on Kakuzu's shoulder. He leaned in close to Kakuzu's ear, a cocky grin curling his lips, though some of his pride was lost since he had to stand on tiptoe to even reach it.

"For once in our partnership, _dear Stitches_, let me take care of this."

Kakuzu's eyes widened upon hearing the demon's words from Hidan's mouth. Though, the way Hidan said it sent shivers down the older man's spine. The priest lightly pressed his lips to Kakuzu's cheek, just above the stitching. Kakuzu inhaled sharply and pushed Hidan's head so that their lips met. The world seemed to fall away; sounds became echoed as if they were underwater. All that mattered was the heat, the taste of Hidan's mouth, coppery, sweet, a mixture of blood and something Kakuzu couldn't quite name. Kakuzu fisted Hidan's hair and felt the priest's hands tighten around his waist.

Hidan bit down hard on Kakuzu's tongue, and pushed him away, smirking and laughing playfully. He licked Kakuzu's blood as it dribbled down his tongue, and turned to face the demon. Kakuzu struggled to catch his breath, staring as Hidan approached Beza open handed. All he had on his side now was the gold pressed into his hand. There was no scythe, no rosary, and no blood curse that could help him. He wasn't a shinobi now. He wasn't even a priest. Just a man. And by his side? A walking corpse. They didn't have a chance in Hell.

"But maybe on Earth…we do," Kakuzu whispered aloud.

"This moment," Hidan began, "will go down in the books, fuck head. You may be all prettied up, but you're still just an ugly ass demon underneath all that…all that…" Hidan gestured to Beza, "all that _fucking_ hair. Seriously, dude, what the fuck were you thinking?"

"You have quite a mouth, for such a…_Holy_ man," Beza leered and stepped down from the statue's platform, walking lightly down the steps.

"Hidan, don't piss him off," Kakuzu growled. Hidan waved his hand, shooing Kakuzu away.

"I've wasted my entire life on a false god," Hidan whispered, raising his fist to his mouth.

Kakuzu wasn't sure what the gesture meant. The priest broke into a run, hands falling behind him, fingers splayed. His palms were open. The locket. Where did Hidan…?

"HIDAN!" Kakuzu screamed, chasing after the ex-priest.

His legs seemed to give out, however, as if telling him to stop, just let Hidan handle it. Kakuzu fell to his knees, feeling his ankles crack painfully. This was it. His shell was breaking away; his temporary body had worn out. Kakuzu could only watch as Beza laughed and waited for Hidan to come near him.

When the ex Jashinist was a few feet away, he skidded to a halt. Kakuzu thought maybe Hidan had lost his confidence, but realized that there was a soft, shimmering barrier around the demon. Beza laughed aloud again and formed a series of seals with the blurring speed of an Uchiha.

The barrier erupted into flames and Hidan was thrown backwards. Kakuzu somehow found the strength to stagger back onto his feet. He caught Hidan, but the force of the priest's body knocked the both of them into the cave walls. Kakuzu grunted in pain as his back collided with the sturdy rock, the force of their impact creating craters.

"H-Hidan…" Kakuzu groaned.

"I told you, I'll take care of it!" Hidan said, climbing back to his feet. He took a deep breath, his hands on his knees and his back to the demon. The priest's pink eyes gleamed. Kakuzu felt a jolt of fear and apprehension.

"Hidan, what are you planning?"

"_Fuck_, there's just not enough time," Hidan complained, staring at Kakuzu. The dead shinobi looked at himself. He was starting to fade, his skin cracking like mud drying in the sun.

"Don't worry about me. Just…do what you can. I'll try to help."

"Stay there, Kakuzu!" Hidan snarled, and while his back was still to Beza, Hidan bit down hard on the locket in his mouth.

"No, Hidan!" Kakuzu pleaded, trying to reach Hidan's face, to pull out the locket.

Hidan pushed Kakuzu's hands away and whirled on his heel, laughing, bold. Arrogant. Kakuzu tried to get up and his legs, now turning brittle, splintered, his ankles no longer able to hold his weight. Kakuzu slid back to the rubble.

"Come get me, fucker!" Hidan bawled, and ran at Beza again.

"You're a fool! Only a ninja could even stand a chance against me! And what are you? Just a failed priest of a false religion, without even a Holy book or vial of water to his name!"

"GO TO HELL!" Hidan roared, and this time, when he drew near to the barrier, he didn't get blasted off his feet. He ran right through it as if it was water and Beza stumbled, eyes widening.

Hidan bit down hard on his tongue, moved the locket so that he held it between his teeth, and, from Kakuzu's angle, it looked like Hidan kissed Beza, wrapping his arms tightly around the demon.

The unorthodox attack caught Beza off guard. He'd expected a fist, a sloppy kick, but surely not a…kiss?

Time stopped. Kakuzu felt his skin cracking, his heart stilled. His lungs deflated. The stitching holding his skin together grew brittle and slipped out of the punctures. Kakuzu was dying. He could only watch from afar as Hidan pushed the locket into Beza's mouth with his tongue.

Kakuzu felt his heart give a painful last pump. He at first thought it was jealousy he felt, seeing Hidan slip his tongue into Beza's mouth. But as he saw the glow between their lips, the widening of Beza's eyes, Kakuzu realized something. Hidan had done it. He'd killed Beza.

The locket hummed and vibrated, as it always did, but this time, it grew to such a pitch that it was deafening. Beza couldn't move. Hidan pulled away from the demon and Beza's mouth clamped shut. His cheeks quivered, his body stiff and twitching. Those elegant, fiery eyes bulged, bloodshot, shooting Hidan a look of utmost loathing Kakuzu could never hope to match.

Hidan staggered backwards as Beza's body began to ripple, expand. As the demon's newly made shape was distorted, bloating like a balloon, Hidan fell to his knees and vomited. He fell over on his side and didn't move.

"HIDAN!" Kakuzu screamed, clutching desperately at the wall for a stronghold. He pulled himself to his feet, and despite the brittle, weak legs, he limped forward. Kakuzu got halfway to his partner, and fell to the ground. Gritting his teeth, Kakuzu pulled himself along by his arms. They were also cracking, frail as sticks of charcoal, bits of his arms near the seams crumbling away like dust. But all that mattered was getting to Hidan.

"Please don't be dead…_please_," Kakuzu pleaded as he reached him.

Hidan pulled in a long, hissing breath and let it out slowly. It was a death rattle. Kakuzu knew the sound well. Kakuzu held onto the waistband of Hidan's pants and pulled himself up so that he was face to face with him.

"Hidan," Kakuzu whispered. Hidan opened his eyes and smiled. He threw an arm over Kakuzu's shoulders, toying with Kakuzu's dark hair.

"How did you…?" Kakuzu trailed off. Hidan chuckled softly.

"The locket…it told me not to be afraid…I listened…I think it was the voice of God, Kakuzu…"

**-xXx-**

The very ground shook as the last of the bijuu, Kyuubi, finally fell. Shino's bugs did their charm, drawing out enough chakra that the beast collapsed and faded out, returning to its rightful eye of the King of Hell statue.

However, as soon as the Kyuubi was sealed again in the statue, the stone figure came to life, rising up on sturdy stone legs. Neji activated his Byakugan. His pale eyes widened.

"Everyone, we have to get out of here now! It's concentrating all the chakra into its center! I think it's going to explode!"

"But what about Naruto! And those other two! Kakuzu and Hidan!" Sakura screamed.

"We don't have time, I'm sorry!" Neji screamed, grabbing Tenten's hand and running.

"Let's go!"

The others started to head for the exit but Sakura remained behind, glaring at the King of hell statue, fists tightly clenched. The statue made no attempt to fight; it simply stood there, a low, booming grumble echoing through the gathering dark.

"Sakura!" Gaara yelled running back to her.

"I can't leave him here!"

"I know…I'm sorry," Gaara said, and pulled Sakura away to safety.

"Narutooooooo!" she cried as the statue slammed down to the ground.

The force of the blow cracked its body. Gaara and Sakura made it to the surface just as the King of Hell statue exploded. The resulting earth quake shook the foundations of the ruined village of Hidden Rain. People screamed, afraid the Hachibi had returned.

**-xXx-**

Back underground, the cavern was falling in on itself, burying all traces of the battle that had ensued just moments ago.

Kakuzu and Hidan ignored the resounding boom and the bits of rubble and debris raining down on them. Nothing much mattered anymore. They were dying anyway.

"Ka…Kakuzu," Hidan whispered, pink eyes wide.

"Sh…don't talk," Kakuzu said, running the back of his hand lightly down the side of Hidan's pale face.

"Think we'll go to the same place?"

"What are you talking about?" Kakuzu asked, fear gripping his heart.

"You know what I'm talking about…"

"You can't go!"

Kakuzu's voice cracked and he felt something burn at the corners of his eyes. Hidan was panting now. He twisted Kakuzu's hair around his fingers and forced Kakuzu's head down so their foreheads touched.

"There was a drop left, Kakuzu. Just a drop…"

"No, if you die, I'll never see you again."

"Kakuzu! What…what the fuck?" Hidan gasped as something wet fell on his face. Kakuzu's tears dripped onto Hidan's cheeks. It made it look like he was crying too.

"Hidan…you can't die. _Not now."_

"Fuck you," Hidan whispered and ran his tongue across Kakuzu's teeth. Kakuzu kissed Hidan then, tasting his salty tears. Hidan moaned softly, the vibration from his throat making Kakuzu shudder. He heard his shoulders crack as he shifted. Kakuzu tried to pull away from Hidan to breathe, but Hidan forced his head back down, nipping and sucking at his mouth feverishly.

There was no time to come up for air. This moment was their last. Death was waiting for them to part. Just like before. In his mind, Kakuzu saw Hidan running in sync with Shikamaru; he saw the rage and fear in Hidan's eyes. He felt the loss. Felt his death.

It was happening again, only this time, he was going to die with Hidan in his arms. There was another shuddering crack, and dust and rocks showered down on the two, grasping at each other like hungry wolves, their mouths locked together.

The earth beneath them was quivering, crumbling away.

"The world is ending," Hidan moaned into Kakuzu's mouth.

"Then let it end," Kakuzu whispered, rolling on top of Hidan, wanting to protect him one last time.

Hidan clutched Kakuzu tightly.

"I'm afraid to die," Hidan whispered, his voice high, his eyes boring into Kakuzu's, searching for an answer. Or maybe it was comfort.

Kakuzu kissed Hidan again, lightly, and smiled. He saw his own tears shining on Hidan's cheeks and licked them away.

"_Idiot."_

Kakuzu kept his eyes locked with Hidan's, their lips melded together in an eternal kiss as the cavern collapsed on top of them.

**-xXx-**

**Epilogue **

"Naruto? NARUTOOOO!" Sakura screamed, hurling boulders ten times the size of her body out of her way, desperately trying to find her childhood friend.

Sakura dug through rubble and broken statues until her fingers bled. The kunoichi broke into sobs, crushing a rock in her fist. Gaara knelt down beside her and enclosed the pink haired kunoichi in his arms.

"Sakura," he murmured in her hair.

Sakura got to her feet, pushing Gaara away. She glared at the rest of the Konoha Nin, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"What are you all doing? Just standing there?! Naruto is trapped under all this rock, if we don't get him out soon, he's going to die!"

Tenten shifted uncomfortably, glancing at Neji.

"Sakura," the Hyuuga began slowly, "I searched the entire cavern. So did Shino. There's…there's no sign of life anywhere."

"YOU'RE WRONG!" Sakura screamed, dropping to her knees and clawing at the earth once more.

Gaara set his mouth in a thin line and pulled Sakura into his arms, forcing her arms to her sides. Sakura struggled in his grip.

"LET ME GO! GAARA! Let me…"

"I'm not going to let you hurt yourself," Gaara said.

Sakura slumped against the Suna Nin, her shoulders shuddering.

"I cared for him too," Gaara whispered as Sakura's tears stained his clothes.

**-xXx-**

Deidara watched the pink haired woman cry for her lost friend before flying back to Hidden Rain. He had to fulfill a request, after all.

"Don't let her die alone," Kakuzu had said, hand in hand with Hidan.

The blond angel found Konan amongst the ruin of her village, helping with the clean up. Shinobi from other villages were there as well. Gai was overly zealous, lifting large blocks of cement and wooden beams easily, flashing his smile at the kunoichi, who mostly laughed and rolled their eyes.

Konan bent to clear away broken shingles when Gai bounded over to her.

"Don't you lift a finger!" Gai yelled loudly, plucking the roofing out of her grasp. The sharp edge of the shingle cut the blue haired kunoichi's finger. When Gai caught sight of the blood he threw the shingles to the ground and grabbed her hand, bending on one knee.

"Oh! I'm so sorry! Can you ever forgive me?"

Konan blushed.

"Well, it's only a scratch, its okay…Oh!" Konan ended in a yelp as Gai picked her up and ran at top speed towards the hospital.

"Make way for the Amekage! Seriously injured kunoichi needs immediate attention!" the Konoha nin screamed at the top of his lungs.

Deidara burst into a fit of giggles from his perch atop a half crumbled tower.

'_You spend too much time in the living world,'_ Sasori growled in Deidara's head.

'_Get back here now. Pein is wondering how it went with Konan.'_

"Un, be there in a minute, Danna!" Deidara answered, a big grin on his face.

"Bye, Konan, I'll check up on you soon, un," Deidara said, waving at the blue haired kunoichi.

Konan's eyes widened. Uh oh. She's seen him. Shit…

"Deidara?!"

"Oh no, all the blood loss has made her delusional!" Gai cried.

'_The guys will love this_,' Deidara thought happily as he took to the air.

**-xXx-**

A/N: There you have it. Flame me for Gai/Konan and die. I chose to use my own animal ideas for the bijuu, so please don't bother me about what you THINK they should be. This is fanfiction anyway. Also, expect a sequel in the future! :D Other than negative thoughts on Gai/Konan and the bijuu, I want to know what you thought, eh? :D


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